When a witch who is also a medical doctor is left with three days to raise his daughter from the dead, he enlists the help of an ameteur witch who has three days to save her mother from a deadly disease.
Categories: Thriller
11 reviews
This seems to be an interesting mix of genres; Drama and super-natural - I'm interested.
However, I don't think the story elements are sitting well together, not yet anyhow. The daughter's death is a good inciting incident, the goal is clear - bring her back. Here's the big 'but', BUT what else is at stake? Yes, the death of a child is painful, but it does happen. However, if she was killed by a malicious force and resurrecting her will help find a way to stop said force, the stakes are greater and the motivation just.
There is also no need to mention the ally amateur witch in the logline, that can be delegated to the synopsis or step out line.
Dkpough1:
I noted the contrast between daughter and mother but didn't know what to make of it terms of the story.
My primary issues is that I think there has to be a good reason why ?the daughter needs to be resurrected . (And the mother saved.) ?Unfinished business, a wrong to be rectified, an injustice remedied, a broken relationship mended -- whatever. I don't think that the grief of ?personal loss is sufficient for dramatic purposes.
And achieving the objective goal ?should have unintended consequences: be careful what you wish for. ?(In keeping with the genre assigned to the concept: thriller.)
Dkpough1:
I noted the contrast between daughter and mother but didn't know what to make of it terms of the story.
My primary issues is that I think there has to be a good reason why ?the daughter needs to be resurrected . (And the mother saved.) ?Unfinished business, a wrong to be rectified, an injustice remedied, a broken relationship mended -- whatever. I don't think that the grief of ?personal loss is sufficient for dramatic purposes.
And achieving the objective goal ?should have unintended consequences: be careful what you wish for. ?(In keeping with the genre assigned to the concept: thriller.)