When his fiancée falls seriously ill, a brilliant and tortured scientist goes on a dangerous quest to find the revolutionary invention that would save her. But the feeling of being manipulated by mysterious people since childhood is becoming more and more real.

The first sentence is almost a solid logline on its own, but there isn't a real hook there -- at least not one that would get me excited.? The second sentence looks like it's meant to add that hook in, and I appreciate that.? The main issue I have is that it's not tied in with the first sentence, which is the main plot/story.? I think it's not so necessary to describe the scientist as brilliant.? He's dealing with revolutionary inventions, so we can assume that.? He's also probably tortured, having a seriously ill wife that he desperately needs an invention for.? I'd try to replace those adjectives with something that relates, or maybe replaces the second sentence.? What is it about the scientist that make these mysterious people reach out to him?? Can you at least hint at that with a new adjective?? You might also get more room taking out "dangerous quest".? Actually, I'm betting "dangerous quest" has something to do with that second sentence, since just trying to invent things isn't inherently dangerous.? At least expanding on what this quest is all about might explain how the mysterious people tie in.

Agree with mikepedley85.? And realistically how can he devise a solution to a problem that isn't even defined? ? It's a "mysterious illness"; if he doesn't know the cause, how can he possible know what the remedy needs to be?

Furthermore, the protagonist needs to be more specifically defined as someone with credible competence. That is, he's isn't just a "brilliant scientist", he's a brilliant epidemiologist or biologist or whatever specialty it is that qualifies him to be a believable character, someone who just might solve the dramatic problem.

Agree with mikepedley85.? And realistically how can he devise a solution to a problem that isn't even defined? ? It's a "mysterious illness"; if he doesn't know the cause, how can he possible know what the remedy needs to be?

Furthermore, the protagonist needs to be more specifically defined as someone with credible competence. That is, he's isn't just a "brilliant scientist", he's a brilliant epidemiologist or biologist or whatever specialty it is that qualifies him to be a believable character, someone who just might solve the dramatic problem.