When humans cut down her park tree, a quirky, gray squirrel must join a tribe to make it through winter; but when she causes the death of her chipmunk sidekick and is compelled by her tribe to expel her love interest, she is forced to grow up in order to survive the winter.

by plays_with_words · Initiate · 35 pts June 1, 2023 6 views

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This is an animation script about a group of gray squirrels that live in a megacity park. It is entitled “The Amazing Grays”

1 review

Richiev · Oracle · 58,825 pts June 7, 2023

The word 'When' usually describes an inciting incident.
You have two 'when's' in your logline, indicating two inciting incidents...
This is a logline issue. (Or perhaps a story issue)

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I, Little Bunny Foo Foo, incorrectly branded a monster by folklore, beat the fucking shit out of the Easter Bunny, the true candy-coated dick who uses colorful plastic eggs to prey on unsuspecting children during the holiday.

When the regime’s henchmen execute his entire congregation, a grieving priest infiltrates the tyrant’s palace as the new concierge, determined to detonate a bomb on the balcony of the Great Belfry as the tyrant addresses the crowd.

After ICE arrests his undocumented girlfriend during a raid, a quick-witted loafer who joined only to skim money from the agency he despises must risk exposure to smuggle her from detention before she is deported.

When a flight attendant smuggles on a chainsaw and starts butchering passengers mid-flight, an aerophobe must bottle his panic to take down the killer and save his family on board.

After witnessing a deadly incident engineered by a powerful marshal, Raymond—an ex‑soldier—goes on the run to clear his name and expose the conspiracy, using his combat skills to fight back before the plot destabilizes the Expo-Event

A river‑rescued girl with a forbidden Killerborn power must unite the fractured clans and kill a warlord corrupted by stolen magic before his rising reign destroys their world.