When Raoud Le Meir finds a drunk Nazi passed out in his barn one night, he does what every terrified, mute and livid 12-year-old boy would do — steals the soldier’s rifle.

The logline revisions read as if you're still not sure which obstacle would be most interesting. So, what would you like to write about? Either a vengeful boy learning not to generalise his hate to all Germans or a boy managing to one-up a German captain's security?

What Foxtrot25 said.

The revised logline baits and switch -- sets up one potential story line then jumps to another one. ?What is the story really about?

The befriending officer can be a complication to the plot. ?But what is the plot? ?What is the unity of action, the singular action ?that ties together everything else that happens?

What Foxtrot25 said.

The revised logline baits and switch -- sets up one potential story line then jumps to another one. ?What is the story really about?

The befriending officer can be a complication to the plot. ?But what is the plot? ?What is the unity of action, the singular action ?that ties together everything else that happens?

Well, you are getting more intriguing, yet fell into trap #2. You introduced another plot and failed to explain what he must do to prosper before the curtain goes down.

Ok, how about this?

Revision No. 2:?A 12-year-old French boy steals a?drunk?German soldier's rifle, but his plan?to kill the Nazi Captain who executed his father?goes awry when he is befriended by a compassionate German officer.

12 yr old boy with a rifle? He gonna nail himself some hog meat?

>>>but his plans for revenge go awry

What is his plan for revenge? ?What is his plot against the Nazi's? ?What, specifically, ?is the plot of the script?

The revision still hides the game ball ?-- what anyone who might come to the movie will want to see.

>>>but his plans for revenge go awry

What is his plan for revenge? ?What is his plot against the Nazi's? ?What, specifically, ?is the plot of the script?

The revision still hides the game ball ?-- what anyone who might come to the movie will want to see.

Revision No. 1: After his father is?executed by the Nazis, a?mute, 12-year-old French boy steals a?rifle from a drunk?soldier, but his plans for revenge go awry when he is befriended by a compassionate German officer.