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My take:
When teenagers from feuding families fall in love and secretly marry, they must struggle to reunite after the boy is banished for killing the girl's cousin.
(26 words)
Of course, it's only the greatest teenage love story ever written. (Juliet is only 13.? Romeo's age is never stated, but given his immaturity, he is surely a teen himself).? My version focuses on the action line.
And your version gives a little more of the plot. Since the logline is intended for producers, perhaps your version would be preferable :)
My take:
When teenagers from feuding families fall in love and secretly marry, they must struggle to reunite after the boy is banished for killing the girl's cousin.
(26 words)
Of course, it's only the greatest teenage love story ever written. (Juliet is only 13.? Romeo's age is never stated, but given his immaturity, he is surely a teen himself).? My version focuses on the action line.