1. Posted: September 10, 2020In:

    When a young woman takes up a run-away eleven-year old under her wing, she must go to extremes that risk her chance at the medical career of her dreams to help the child through the consequences of the gory past she fled.

    Andres_ Penpusher

    I'm losing the motivation on the main character. I mean why does she risk his medical carrer for the infant. Did she happen to go for the same that make the infant run at that age? Did she lost a relative the infant age by the disease she is becoming an expert now? Also what does the secundary charaRead more

    I’m losing the motivation on the main character. I mean why does she risk his medical carrer for the infant. Did she happen to go for the same that make the infant run at that age? Did she lost a relative the infant age by the disease she is becoming an expert now?

    Also what does the secundary character gives to the plot? The eleven year old should contribute in any way to the plot, if you change the actor for a plant that’s a red flag for the story.

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  2. Posted: September 14, 2020In:

    Un fotógrafo, adicto a las carreras de galgos, se arruina. Su familia lo abandona, y él decide convertirse en mendigo en compañía de un galgo, aunque en realidad es una vieja bicicleta. Tendrá que expiar, sus errores del pasado.

    Andres_ Penpusher

    Yo encuentro confusa (muy confusa) esta historia. Un vieja bicicleta? porque es fotógrafo? decide convertirse en mendigo? Se acaba siendo mendigo por las circunstancias imposibles de superar no decide hacerse un día. Yo depuraría el logline de elementos confusos y lo centraría en como cambia el persRead more

    Yo encuentro confusa (muy confusa) esta historia. Un vieja bicicleta? porque es fotógrafo? decide convertirse en mendigo? Se acaba siendo mendigo por las circunstancias imposibles de superar no decide hacerse un día. Yo depuraría el logline de elementos confusos y lo centraría en como cambia el personaje principal en la historia y como el galgo que le acompaña le ayuda a cambiar.

    “Un estricto padre de familia, adicto a las carreras de galgos, se arruina. Su familia lo abandona, y él comienza a convivir en compañía de un galgo. Para volver a ganar dinero decide entrenar a su nuevo compañero para las carreras y este le enseñara como el amor es el mejor maestro.”

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  3. Posted: September 21, 2020In:

    An immortal alien race must come out of hiding on earth and reunite, when an ancient enemy threatens humanity.

    Andres_ Penpusher

    Adding a genre to the logline will be mandatory. This same set up leeds to a very diferent movie if you say it's comedy or it's terror. You can choose what you prefer to write

    Adding a genre to the logline will be mandatory. This same set up leeds to a very diferent movie if you say it’s comedy or it’s terror. You can choose what you prefer to write

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