1. Posted: February 19, 2013In:

    2366: Earth is on the verge of collapse and the wealthy Convert themselves into android bodies for life extension to travel to New Earth, 103 years away. When Conversion for a corrupt detective finds him malfunctioning on a garbage tip and his family nowhere in sight he has three days to repair his body, find his family and get on the ship to New Earth before it leaves.

    andrewclau Logliner

    Hi everyone, I've been struggling to boil this logline down as it's a futuristic situation that needs a bit of explanation, would be great if I could get a few suggestions as I don't know what to do. I promise I will leave some comments on other loglines!

    Hi everyone, I’ve been struggling to boil this logline down as it’s a futuristic situation that needs a bit of explanation, would be great if I could get a few suggestions as I don’t know what to do. I promise I will leave some comments on other loglines!

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  2. Posted: December 7, 2012In:

    When a mysterious but overtly sexual bombshell begins crushing him at the local casino, a socially removed poker genius struggles to maintain his personal fortune, investors money and sanity under control.

    andrewclau Logliner

    Thanks everybody for your comments and helpful feedback. I think I will definitely be removing the word "crushing" from the logline as it's been confusing for everyone. I'll keep it mind that not everyone is aware of poker speak. Kriss, I agree with you that the logline is word heavy so I'll be lookRead more

    Thanks everybody for your comments and helpful feedback.

    I think I will definitely be removing the word “crushing” from the logline as it’s been confusing for everyone. I’ll keep it mind that not everyone is aware of poker speak.

    Kriss, I agree with you that the logline is word heavy so I’ll be looking to pare it back about five or six words.

    This story would be somewhere between a drama and a comedy – a dramedy!

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  3. Posted: December 7, 2012In:

    When a mysterious but overtly sexual bombshell begins crushing him at the local casino, a socially removed poker genius struggles to maintain his personal fortune, investors money and sanity under control.

    andrewclau Logliner

    Hi Richiev, Thank you for your feedback. This is my first logline I've ever written so I've been struggling with it a little. Just to clarify, when I use the word "crushing" it means "beating" or "defeating." In Poker terminology, to crush someone is to beat them in the game and take all their moneyRead more

    Hi Richiev,

    Thank you for your feedback. This is my first logline I’ve ever written so I’ve been struggling with it a little. Just to clarify, when I use the word “crushing” it means “beating” or “defeating.” In Poker terminology, to crush someone is to beat them in the game and take all their money. So what I’m trying to imply is, that this girl is incredibly and distractingly HOT as well as highly intelligent, so much so that this Poker genius is losing for the first time since he became a pro player.

    Also, he’s not a tournament poker player but a “cash games” player meaning that he plays on a daily basis as if it were a job – he turns up at the casino, he sits down and he plays an 8 hour or longer session until he walks away with winnings.

    With this in mind how about:

    When a mysterious but overtly sexual bombshell begins smashing his daily game, a socially removed poker genius struggles to maintain his personal fortune, investors money and sanity.

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