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A blind boy who helps police identify and apprehend a possessed serial killer must now prove that he witnessed the crimes and convince the police that a demonic entity is the real culprit behind the recent homicides.
Hello Philippe, Thank you for taking the time and answering my logline. Does the term "Mysterious" serve the purpose? How does it sound now? A mysterious blind boy who helps police identify and apprehend a possessed serial killer must now prove that he witnessed the crimes and convince the police thRead more
Hello Philippe,
Thank you for taking the time and answering my logline. Does the term “Mysterious” serve the purpose? How does it sound now?
A mysterious blind boy who helps police identify and apprehend a possessed serial killer must now prove that he witnessed the crimes and convince the police that a demonic entity is the real culprit behind the recent homicides.
Ben
See lessWhen a jaded young woman goes missing on a work trip, three colleagues – her queer best friend, an alpha male and an average Joe – discover that she has fled to a secret civilisation inhabited only by women, where they all stay for a while.
When a jaded young woman disappears while on a business trip, three avid colleagues find out she has fled to a women-inhabited secret community and decide to keep her company for a while. I hope this helps.
When a jaded young woman disappears while on a business trip, three avid colleagues find out she has fled to a women-inhabited secret community and decide to keep her company for a while.
I hope this helps.
See lessAn impulsive 14-year-old goes to epic lengths and sparks a national emergency trying to find case of beer to impress his older brother.
tschrack, It sounds good to me. You should also know that to me, impressing his older brother is not the stake. The stake is what will happen if he does not impress his older brother. You don't always need a stake if you've said your story in your logline. You've said: 1- The CHARACTER/POV: describeRead more
tschrack,
It sounds good to me. You should also know that to me, impressing his older brother is not the stake. The stake is what will happen if he does not impress his older brother. You don’t always need a stake if you’ve said your story in your logline.
You’ve said:
1- The CHARACTER/POV: describe sociology/function and psychology/behaviour.
2- The MAJOR EVENT: this is the inciting incident, the call to adventure, catalyst etc.
and
3- The ACTION/GOAL: describe what the MC tries to achieve for most of the story.
The stake comes under optional inclusions
(these are often implied by the elements above)
the STAKES: for high concept stories, the stakes are implied in the basic logline
the OBSTACLE/ANTAGONIST: often part of the Action, or suggested by the Event
the HERO’S FLAW: this will express the theme and character journey/transformation.
Still, you may want to ask others’ opinions. To me, it says what you wanted to say.
See lessGood Luck