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After a near drowning makes him the target of an evil spirit, an avoidant teenager must endure hellish heat when a bushfire threatens to destroy his hideout. (27)
I understand what you mean when you say it sounds a short. That's why I wanted to frame this story with the story of the unorthodox priest. The teenager becomes the unorthodox priest with the power to put the FEAR OF GOD into any man. The theme of the story is basically that EVEN EVIL CAN DO GOOD THRead more
I understand what you mean when you say it sounds a short. That’s why I wanted to frame this story with the story of the unorthodox priest. The teenager becomes the unorthodox priest with the power to put the FEAR OF GOD into any man.
The theme of the story is basically that EVEN EVIL CAN DO GOOD THINGS.
Something along those lines. Haven’t nailed it down yet.
See lessAfter a near drowning makes him the target of an evil spirit, an avoidant teenager must endure hellish heat when a bushfire threatens to destroy his hideout. (27)
He hides because he is shit scared. He cannot kill the creature because he is shit scared. So he hides until the heat from the bushfire, coupled with the return of the creature, push him to breaking point. He surrenders. He comes out of hiding completely defeated and undone by the heat and fear, reaRead more
He hides because he is shit scared.
He cannot kill the creature because he is shit scared.
So he hides until the heat from the bushfire, coupled with the return of the creature, push him to breaking point. He surrenders. He comes out of hiding completely defeated and undone by the heat and fear, ready to face whatever the creature has in store for him … only to meet another more powerful and terrifying evil spirit. This spirit helps him deal with and face the evil creature tormenting him.
The drowning opened him up to spiritual attack and he is completely undone by it, overwhelmed by it.
So,
After being opened to a spiritual attack by a near drowning, a scared shitless teenager is completely overwhelmed when a bushfire forces him out of hiding to face his fear and understand the nature of his ability to participate in a kingdom that exists in this world but men do not see.
See lessAfter a near drowning makes him the target of an evil spirit, an avoidant teenager must endure hellish heat when a bushfire threatens to destroy his hideout. (27)
I changed spirit to creature. Does it work better now? REALLY APPRECIATE your help Richiev. I'm just waiting for you to give me the go ahead now so I can get back to the writing which I'm worried is already beginning to rust.
I changed spirit to creature. Does it work better now? REALLY APPRECIATE your help Richiev. I’m just waiting for you to give me the go ahead now so I can get back to the writing which I’m worried is already beginning to rust.
See less