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A Nanny is mysteriously directed to the wrong house and is demanded to kill captive children for a soul hungry Entity whose time is running out to earn immortality; she must choose to save the children and escape or be tortured, forever captive with them.
There might be a balance to strike here. And possibly a word count limit to test. One way I did my most recent post (face palms because I could have done it sooner) was to read it out loud into my digital recorder and let an hour go by, come back to it and listen to it. If it confused me then it becRead more
There might be a balance to strike here. And possibly a word count limit to test. One way I did my most recent post (face palms because I could have done it sooner) was to read it out loud into my digital recorder and let an hour go by, come back to it and listen to it. If it confused me then it became clear something in that log line came from my imagination (to explain as a log line) versus explaining like a news headline.
Hearing it out loud on a recording exposed the issues. Some were glaring. Other parts of the log line were clear but the sequence of the log line was “off”.
So, I had to write it like a before, during, and after news alert.
A news channel is sometimes a great way to learn concise story-telling. And every once in a while, someone captures a story perfectly with just the right amount of description. Plus, it’s understandable and it would be possible to say to say what they said as an elevator pitch.
Difficult to so, but so worth it.
*rushes to his library to re-read “Selling Your Story In 60 seconds” again…
See lessAfter a night of self destructive drinking a boy (Chris) discovers that his girlfriend (Anna) possesses the ability to remain immortal as long as she does not fall in love. As Chris' family life decays, he runs away from home with Anna to show her a life bereft of love is not one lived.
as long as she doesn't fall in love....with him or someone else? clear that up and you have a clear log line in my opinion!
as long as she doesn’t fall in love….with him or someone else?
clear that up and you have a clear log line in my opinion!
See lessA Nanny is mysteriously directed to the wrong house and is demanded to kill captive children for a soul hungry Entity whose time is running out to earn immortality; she must choose to save the children and escape or be tortured, forever captive with them.
I recently learned in a highly regarded screenwriting class (which I completed over 10 months) that log lines essentially have to be "hooks" or "highlighted inciting incidents" within the story that could very well grab attention. And a hook (according to this class prof) won't tell the entire storyRead more
I recently learned in a highly regarded screenwriting class (which I completed over 10 months) that log lines essentially have to be “hooks” or “highlighted inciting incidents” within the story that could very well grab attention.
And a hook (according to this class prof) won’t tell the entire story as you advise (it’s great advice, no doubt.)
In here I am testing my hooks and it’s not going well because practically every log line i produce here is failing to create an entire story in one line.
And it’s a thick story to distill down to three parts (and keep it at 30 words or less).
I may have to feature a log line that simply describes the first act and final act.
Making a psychological horror script visual ( and under 30 words) seems just about impossible (oh I’ll nail it at some point I know) unless I cite the gore/violence factor within the story.
And please don’t think the frustration is getting to me. Oh no, just the opposite, I love the challenge and at some point the log line will be written clearly enough. It’s just a matter of time and effort.
Thank you for taking the time to comment!
Finding this site has been like finding gold!
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