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To overthrow the manipulative authorities of year 2086, a man genetically designed to teach the values of the regime decides to fight his mental programming, team up with outlaws and free a people brainwashed by a corrupt government
I agree with you that it reads a little generic. It's not so much that he gains special powers, but since he is created to teach and know everything about the way society is run, he'll use the knowledge imprinted in his brain against those that put it there. It may sound a little confusing, but I suRead more
I agree with you that it reads a little generic.
It’s not so much that he gains special powers, but since he is created to teach and know everything about the way society is run, he’ll use the knowledge imprinted in his brain against those that put it there.
It may sound a little confusing, but I suppose I could somehow add something about that into the logline.
(I should perhaps mention that this story will be used for a series, not for a feature film)
See lessWhen a highly-successful psychologist saves a man on the street from suicide, she decides she isn't helping enough people who really need it, and starts a "mobile therapist" ride company, counseling strangers from pick-up to destination; until one-day she accepts a fare across country from a man with real demons to confront.
That is much better Ian, I especially like that you switched "successful" for "driven", it tells me more about the character. I'm not sure you need to include "in her off-time" however, since it's not really important to the story it just adds unnecessary words to the logline.
That is much better Ian, I especially like that you switched “successful” for “driven”, it tells me more about the character. I’m not sure you need to include “in her off-time” however, since it’s not really important to the story it just adds unnecessary words to the logline.
See lessA former hitman finds out that the agency that hired him 15 years ago is trying to kill him and his family. Now he must protect them from the agency and his past.
The logline seems fairly clear (I personally like it to be in one sentence though), the issue for me is that it seems too general, I've seen it before. I would perhaps include some adjectives describing what makes this story and these characters interesting. For example, instead of "family" you coulRead more
The logline seems fairly clear (I personally like it to be in one sentence though), the issue for me is that it seems too general, I’ve seen it before. I would perhaps include some adjectives describing what makes this story and these characters interesting. For example, instead of “family” you could write “five year old daughter” or something like that to make us more invested in the story.
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