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When a disaffected war hero takes control of a nuclear missile silo, the resourceful silo commander must take it back while hiding the fact that she is a Russian spy.
Thank you all for your insightful comments. I think all of you are correct; I wanted this to be a story about someone taking over a silo and the struggle of the commander to take it back. But then I thought I needed an extra twist to make it more interesting. But it seems I took a route that is veryRead more
Thank you all for your insightful comments. I think all of you are correct; I wanted this to be a story about someone taking over a silo and the struggle of the commander to take it back. But then I thought I needed an extra twist to make it more interesting. But it seems I took a route that is very, very deficient. As you all pointed out, there seems to be a disconnect between the storyline of the struggle for the silo and the spy identity. I can’t take the easy way out. So I’ll need to reconsider how to find a hook that gives it a unique twist while still being connected to the main story line.
See lessAgain, thank you very much for your comments, I’ll come back when I have a better logline to offer.
After being pressured by the cops to turn informant a teen is sent on a run by her drug dealer boss, who is holding her younger sister, knowing this run will get her killed.
It seems to me the protagonist is too passive here "being pressured" "is sent". How about the protatognist turned informant voluntarily because she doesn't want her younger sister being dragged deeper into this whole mess? Plus, I don't see the clear connection between being informant and the drug dRead more
It seems to me the protagonist is too passive here “being pressured” “is sent”. How about the protatognist turned informant voluntarily because she doesn’t want her younger sister being dragged deeper into this whole mess? Plus, I don’t see the clear connection between being informant and the drug dealer boss sending her on a deadly run. If he knows she’s an informant, why not just shoot her? If he doesn’t know she’s an informant, is this information actually relevant for the logline?
See lessAfter uncovering a conspiracy plotted by the king a Templar is forced to intervene in the king’s plot before it leads to civil war.
What's a merchant knight? In medieval Europe, merchants and knights were strictly separate, the latter having far higher status than the former, and I have never come accross the term. But maybe you are envisioning a character from one of the Muslim Empires?
What’s a merchant knight? In medieval Europe, merchants and knights were strictly separate, the latter having far higher status than the former, and I have never come accross the term. But maybe you are envisioning a character from one of the Muslim Empires?
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