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When a group of Sth African migrant teenagers go on a road trip they have an accident that leaves one the boys paralysed from the waist down but when the parents of the injured boy engage in a legal battle against the young driver it divides a community in a gripping saga of tradegy and triumph.
Well, in my opinion it needs some work: - "Tragedy" is spelled incorrectly - "one OF the boys" - missing word The "gripping saga of tragedy and triumph" is too generic. Most stories have that. Cut the first part to something more succint and focus on the protagonists (which I will assume are the parRead more
Well, in my opinion it needs some work:
– “Tragedy” is spelled incorrectly
– “one OF the boys” – missing word
The “gripping saga of tragedy and triumph” is too generic. Most stories have that.
Cut the first part to something more succint and focus on the protagonists (which I will assume are the parents). For instance “When a road accident leaves their son paralyzed, the determined parents engage….”
Overall, I don’t see the “hook” here. Why should I go see it? I wouldn’t at the moment…
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