1. Posted: April 6, 2016In:

    A serial killer taxi driver takes revenge on behalf of victimised passengers while trying to avoid detection.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    Thanks. Here are the beats. Believes he is getting revenge for people that cannot like Archangel Ragaul. Confesses to Priest constantly (a reliable narrator - exposition tool). The cops kill him. Ending his rein of justifiable murders. Narative arc, he is doing what people think they would do if theRead more

    Thanks.

    Here are the beats.

    Believes he is getting revenge for people that cannot like Archangel Ragaul.
    Confesses to Priest constantly (a reliable narrator – exposition tool).
    The cops kill him. Ending his rein of justifiable murders.

    Narative arc, he is doing what people think they would do if they wouldn’t get caught. The “better hope the cops get you before I do” mentality in all of us. ?His mental illness gives the audience a chance to see him as a victim as well. ?The priest is a voice of reason. ?When the cops kill him, the audience will know it was the right thing. ?But also know so much wrong will go unpunished.

    Dexter potential parallels, but not cute or charming. ?This is real mental illness not TV mental illness.
    Taxi Driver, just the car. ?Taxi Driver wanted to fix the world. ?This guy wants to punish the wicked, he sees the world as a good place where predators have to be culled. ?May be tricky to escape the comparison in a logline.

    I’ll post a new version once I have one. Any attempts would be appreciated.

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  2. Posted: April 6, 2016In:

    A serial killer taxi driver takes revenge on behalf of victimised passengers while trying to avoid detection.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    Goes without saying mentally ill. ?Believes the archangel Ragaul (revenge) is working through him. I want to story to focus on a person doing bad things for a good reason and a cop that will be doing a good thing, catching him which will result in bad things going unpunished. thanks in advance.

    Goes without saying mentally ill. ?Believes the archangel Ragaul (revenge) is working through him. I want to story to focus on a person doing bad things for a good reason and a cop that will be doing a good thing, catching him which will result in bad things going unpunished.

    thanks in advance.

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  3. Posted: March 28, 2016In:

    Radical insurgent falls in love with an American hostage and as his ideology falters he must orchestrate her escape before his kingpin brother masterminds a major terrorist plot that implicates and kills them both.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    If he falls in love and helps her escape, his faltering is evident. Is the story about them falling in love or the escape? Orchestrates seems like he is pulling the strings but not involved. Masterminds is not the exercution of the plan. Make more action based and the ticking clock becomes importantRead more

    If he falls in love and helps her escape, his faltering is evident. Is the story about them falling in love or the escape?

    Orchestrates seems like he is pulling the strings but not involved.

    Masterminds is not the exercution of the plan. Make more action based and the ticking clock becomes important.

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