1. Posted: July 5, 2017In:

    I thought about replacing the ‘Romeo and Juliet’ play with a self-written play. “When he meets an exchange student, a socially awkward nerd joins the university play to win the lead role and have his first kiss ever with his crush before she returns to her home country.”

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    I take it she is in the play. If yes, state that. A socially awkward student joins the university play to win the lead role to get close to the leading woman who he is obsessed with.

    I take it she is in the play. If yes, state that.

    A socially awkward student joins the university play to win the lead role to get close to the leading woman who he is obsessed with.

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  2. Posted: July 5, 2017In:

    A young guy starts an small scale enterprise instead of going with the regular job after his graduation, but as his enterprise starts making profits he realizes the large scale enterprise wants to crush his firm.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    You've stop just where the story starts. What does he do? What does he want to happen? What is stopping him? How are they out to crush him? That tell us that.

    You’ve stop just where the story starts. What does he do? What does he want to happen? What is stopping him? How are they out to crush him? That tell us that.

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  3. Posted: June 27, 2017In:

    Three genetically engineered soldiers must face discrimination as they struggle to find the kidnapped members of their squad.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    What is the discrimination? Who is doing it is the story. Completely different if the Army is doing vs the general community or media. Having a faceless enemy makes it hard for the reader to understand and assess your story.

    What is the discrimination? Who is doing it is the story. Completely different if the Army is doing vs the general community or media. Having a faceless enemy makes it hard for the reader to understand and assess your story.

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