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Desperate to save his famous family farm, a proud cowboy tries to win $50,000 at the state rodeo, only to find out that his biggest rival is the college-indebted woman who stole his heart. (My idea with this logline is that the cowboy has a problem to lose against a woman in the first place. But he actually loves her. This tension drives the characters and the story forward.)
Then drop the money, farm blah blah. A "never lose to a woman" rodeo rider fails for a female competitor who is just as desperate for the prize money as he is. Needs work. But you correctly identified the story. It's not the farm. He could need the money for his kid sister's operation, the story wouRead more
Then drop the money, farm blah blah.
A “never lose to a woman” rodeo rider fails for a female competitor who is just as desperate for the prize money as he is.
Needs work. But you correctly identified the story. It’s not the farm. He could need the money for his kid sister’s operation, the story would be basically unchanged.
See lessWhen the king becomes deathly ill, the legalistic crown prince, armed with King Solomon-like wisdom and Bruce Lee-like skills, must save the gun-controlled country from a powerful and lawless uncle.
For me too much description and not enough story. It is big on setup but I can't see the movie. Wise, kung fu master, legalistic (not sure how that translates to story) are all colourful, but they're not story. What must he do, what is his uncle doing to stop him. That's the best I can offer, sorry.
For me too much description and not enough story. It is big on setup but I can’t see the movie.
Wise, kung fu master, legalistic (not sure how that translates to story) are all colourful, but they’re not story.
What must he do, what is his uncle doing to stop him. That’s the best I can offer, sorry.
See lessa loser terrorist wants to go to heaven tries to find the bomb he lost to explode it.
A "But" may fix it. It would give him more challenges. I don't think it works as a story, but that is because I can see it from the victims side. To fix the logline you need a little more. It is just a little simple, which can be okay, but doesn't quite work here.
A “But” may fix it. It would give him more challenges. I don’t think it works as a story, but that is because I can see it from the victims side.
To fix the logline you need a little more. It is just a little simple, which can be okay, but doesn’t quite work here.
See less