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  1. Posted: April 24, 2020In: Crime

    A Lieutenant in a drug gang, misreads a situation killing his boss. This sparks an internal war eventually leading to the destruction of his gang, his death and the loss of their terroritary.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter
    Added an answer on May 9, 2020 at 8:57 am

    After killing his boss, driven by his girlfriend and a misunderstanding, a drug dealer embarks on a bloody coup, ambition isn?t enough resulting in his death and the destruction of the gang he aimed to control.   Going back through the script. He is stuck in a bubble. He can?t see the bigger piRead more

    After killing his boss, driven by his girlfriend and a misunderstanding, a drug dealer embarks on a bloody coup, ambition isn?t enough resulting in his death and the destruction of the gang he aimed to control.

     

    Going back through the script. He is stuck in a bubble. He can?t see the bigger picture. He was unsure if he should do what he thought he was told to do. ?Driven by his girlfriend (in it for free drugs and ambition), he does kill his boss. But the gang goes into free fall as he doesn?t know how to step up. ?As the gang begins to implode he sees an opportunity to take control but a few people stand in his way.

    From the likability situation. Think of it like a slasher film. Everyone know Freddie, Jason, Jigsaw. ?We have empathy for their victims. ?After all there is a series called the ?walking dead? not ?people trying to survive other people and avoid zombies?.

    Thanks again.

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  2. Posted: April 24, 2020In: Crime

    A Lieutenant in a drug gang, misreads a situation killing his boss. This sparks an internal war eventually leading to the destruction of his gang, his death and the loss of their terroritary.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter
    Added an answer on April 30, 2020 at 11:23 am

    After killing his drug boss in a coup, lieutenant continues killing to secure his new position, but members loyal to the old boss will not go down without a fight.

    After killing his drug boss in a coup, lieutenant continues killing to secure his new position, but members loyal to the old boss will not go down without a fight.

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  3. Posted: April 21, 2020In: Action

    A Eurasian girl, a descendant of Saint Patrick , is kidnapped to be abused and killed by a Chinese agent, but she escapes after overhearing a horrific PRC plan to create nuclear winter.    

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter
    Added an answer on April 28, 2020 at 10:05 am

    Hi Jim, I think you have an alignment problem. The obstacles, goals and solutions don?t line up. So it reads a bit like a shopping list of events and facts. Does her ancestors lead to her being kidnapped by chinese? Does her over hearing the plan make it possible for her to escape? Find the things tRead more

    Hi Jim,

    I think you have an alignment problem. The obstacles, goals and solutions don?t line up. So it reads a bit like a shopping list of events and facts.

    Does her ancestors lead to her being kidnapped by chinese?
    Does her over hearing the plan make it possible for her to escape?

    Find the things that align and link them. You seem to have linked unrelated elements.

    A girl kidnapped girl while being transported to China overhears plans for the PRC to develop a nuclear weapon. She must get to safety and warn the world of this new threat.

    I couldn?t see how her ancestors play into what she needs to achieve.

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