1. Posted: August 27, 2016In:

    Izzy Concannon: Rogue, outlaw, lost Terran, finds herself on a doomed vessel hunting the last of the mad battleships in deep space.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    I do have a few questions:Is she part of a crew? Is she happy to be there? What happens when they/she finds it? Whats at stake for her (internal/external)?'Before she's allowed to return to earth and her daughter a "hunter " must take her failing ship and destroy the last autonomous battleship'A bitRead more

    I do have a few questions:

    Is she part of a crew?
    Is she happy to be there?
    What happens when they/she finds it?
    Whats at stake for her (internal/external)?

    ‘Before she’s allowed to return to earth and her daughter a “hunter ” must take her failing ship and destroy the last autonomous battleship’

    A bit wordy, but has stakes, and a clear story. Probably not yours. ?Hope this help.

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  2. Posted: August 27, 2016In:

    In the future, all mental Illness is illegal. After a teen?s girlfriend is taken away due to early detection of a mental defect, he searches to find an error with the brain scanning machine but uncovers a dark secret.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    I feel the dark secret is the story. ?I'd like to read about this.

    I feel the dark secret is the story. ?I’d like to read about this.

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  3. Posted: August 27, 2016In:

    A dangerous serial killer is the only survivor in a plane crash, when she was transported to a different prison, she is rescued by tibetans from remote high mountain village. After being treated from her injuries she faces a choice to leave the village or to merry 7 brothers of a family who took care of her, according to their matriarchal tradition.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    Marry and gain power or die isn't a choice really. ?Perhaps the story lies in the struggle to get accepted enough to marry, instead of expulsion and death. 'A serial killer is found by remote Tibetan village after a plan crash. ?She has a chance of ruling the village once she gets away with removingRead more

    Marry and gain power or die isn’t a choice really. ?Perhaps the story lies in the struggle to get accepted enough to marry, instead of expulsion and death.

    ‘A serial killer is found by remote Tibetan village after a plan crash. ?She has a chance of ruling the village once she gets away with removing a few woman the stand in her way’

    Perhaps not your story. ?I can’t see the stakes or logic in what you have given us so far.

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