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Ian Hemlock is swept away to a magical land after he falls out of an attic window and embarks on a quest to find a slipper for a dead girl who can help him find his missing father.
Replace "and" with "where he". "And" makes it feel like two unrelated events. If you put the fall first it makes the events chronological which is better. Finally I don't think I learned anything knowing his name, "old man", "young man" or "teenager" puts an image in my head. Well done. It seems toRead more
Replace “and” with “where he”. “And” makes it feel like two unrelated events. If you put the fall first it makes the events chronological which is better. Finally I don’t think I learned anything knowing his name, “old man”, “young man” or “teenager” puts an image in my head.
Well done.
It seems to be a complete concept. I hope this helps.
See lessIn a future where writing is forbidden and technology rules, the last Scribe, and an Android implanted with humanities history must stop an evil corporation from enslaving the masses with its latest device.
"Fahrenheit 451" Ray Bradbury - books are outlawed. So how are laws written down? Doesn't really matter. Plato was opposed to people being taught to read and write. He believed that it would lower the average intelligence as people would no longer have to rely on their memory. Perhaps this is a "BraRead more
“Fahrenheit 451” Ray Bradbury – books are outlawed. So how are laws written down? Doesn’t really matter.
Plato was opposed to people being taught to read and write. He believed that it would lower the average intelligence as people would no longer have to rely on their memory. Perhaps this is a “Brave New World” scenario where classes of people are allowed different things.
I think the logline works because the questions it raise aren’t about the story like “that doesn’t make sense”. The questions it raises for me is “I wonder how the writer does that?”.
See lessIn a future where writing is forbidden and technology rules, the last Scribe, and an Android implanted with humanities history must stop an evil corporation from enslaving the masses with its latest device.
"Fahrenheit 451" Ray Bradbury - books are outlawed. So how are laws written down? Doesn't really matter. Plato was opposed to people being taught to read and write. He believed that it would lower the average intelligence as people would no longer have to rely on their memory. Perhaps this is a "BraRead more
“Fahrenheit 451” Ray Bradbury – books are outlawed. So how are laws written down? Doesn’t really matter.
Plato was opposed to people being taught to read and write. He believed that it would lower the average intelligence as people would no longer have to rely on their memory. Perhaps this is a “Brave New World” scenario where classes of people are allowed different things.
I think the logline works because the questions it raise aren’t about the story like “that doesn’t make sense”. The questions it raises for me is “I wonder how the writer does that?”.
See less