1. Posted: November 10, 2018In:

    In an alternative world where food is life and smell is sound, we follow the story of a duo who venture into the culinary world of ?hip-pot,? where and the competition of rivals in pursuit of the coveted ?golden spatula,?.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    I get it. But you haven?t told us the story. Forget the clever setup and tell the story. In a world where people smell sound to two enter a hip-pot comp but.... and they must....

    I get it. But you haven?t told us the story. Forget the clever setup and tell the story.

    In a world where people smell sound to two enter a hip-pot comp but…. and they must….

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  2. Posted: November 6, 2018In:

    Revised (Round 2)- After a tragedy in London, Ohio, sends a dead soldier to the Veil World of the Supernatural, The soldier must stop a werewolf from entering the veil and destroying reality and exposing the supernatural to world, provoking chaos and destruction.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    It is a bit hard to place this logline in a time and place. Plus things like Viel World don?t help. Fighter is just someone who fights. A bit ambiguous as the world doesn?t help inform us.

    It is a bit hard to place this logline in a time and place.

    Plus things like Viel World don?t help.

    Fighter is just someone who fights. A bit ambiguous as the world doesn?t help inform us.

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  3. Posted: November 5, 2018In:

    A strong teenage girl begins training at a unique academy to fight the Gods who are trying to kill her family and her.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    Think of your reads reaction. Okay, she?s training cool. It could just be a huge training montage. She?s already strong, so what are we going to watch?

    Think of your reads reaction. Okay, she?s training cool.

    It could just be a huge training montage.

    She?s already strong, so what are we going to watch?

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