1. Posted: May 20, 2017In:

    In the dark days following World War II, two enterprising brothers are torn apart by dark, sinister forces and made bitter enemies as they emerge from the wreckage of their PBM in the Bermuda Triangle.

    csantan2 Logliner

    I probably wouldn't use the word "dark" twice.

    I probably wouldn’t use the word “dark” twice.

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  2. Posted: May 14, 2017In:

    When several U.S. Army soldiers mysteriously die during training, a young soldier learns that his supervisor is responsible for the deaths and must learn how to prevent future deaths and deal with his supervisor?s retaliation before he becomes the next casualty.

    csantan2 Logliner

    Revision 1 When several U.S. Army soldiers mysteriously die during training, a young soldier learns who is responsible and must fight to expose corruption before he becomes the next casualty.

    Revision 1
    When several U.S. Army soldiers mysteriously die during training, a young soldier learns who is responsible and must fight to expose corruption before he becomes the next casualty.

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  3. Posted: May 4, 2017In:

    When several soldiers mysteriously die during training, a young soldier learns that his supervisor is responsible for the deaths and must fight to prevent future deaths.

    csantan2 Logliner

    Great comments. Very helpful. Thank you. Originally, it was his best friend who was killed...at least one of the people who were killed. ?I wasn't sure how much should go into the logline. I will revise and repost. I'm new to this forum. Should I post a revision to this thread...or start a new post?

    Great comments. Very helpful. Thank you. Originally, it was his best friend who was killed…at least one of the people who were killed. ?I wasn’t sure how much should go into the logline. I will revise and repost. I’m new to this forum. Should I post a revision to this thread…or start a new post?

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