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Home Invasion – A brilliant engineer and his family get trapped in their home when his highly sophisticated, prototype security device goes rogue.
Any chance the security device is an android dog ?(SPOT - Security Prototype Of Tomorrow) who goes rogue when the scientist develops and introduces Canny the?android cat nanny. Now that would be fun and uncanny. ?Title suggestion: Spot on Canny.Okay playtime over. Back to the serious discussion.
Any chance the security device is an android dog ?(SPOT – Security Prototype Of Tomorrow) who goes rogue when the scientist develops and introduces Canny the?android cat nanny. Now that would be fun and uncanny. ?Title suggestion: Spot on Canny.
Okay playtime over. Back to the serious discussion.
See lessAn unknown, white, Republican candidate runs for office in a poor, Democratic, black neighborhood, setting up his headquarters in a Baptist church where the congregation is hesitant to support him.
DPG, Sorry for the delay in responding. I thought I'd get a notice if someone reviewed my logline. I hadn't and didn't think to check till now. ?As to your concerns: It's state senate but I disagree that that is important in the logline. That he is running in/for a seat in a poor black district?doesRead more
DPG, Sorry for the delay in responding. I thought I’d get a notice if someone reviewed my logline. I hadn’t and didn’t think to check till now. ?As to your concerns:
It’s state senate but I disagree that that is important in the logline. That he is running in/for a seat in a poor black district?does limit the possible offices. ?To appear relevant in the election the pastor decides to have all the candidates including the lone Republican attend a debate with a $10,000 ‘prize/donation going to the candidate who gets the most votes from the congregation. They all agree. The Mega-Baptist church and power players in the district think this is a great idea so they stage a competing debate same time and date and a bigger donation. All the Democrats dump the poor black church’s debate and go to Mega-Baptist’s instead. The Republican shows up anyway and gives a really nice speech even admitting to being a racist … sort of. But he wins the debate (2 votes for and 400 abstaining) ?Instead of taking the money and running he offers to rent,??for six months, a small corner in their dilapidated community center/gym for about $10,000. ?And the fun begins. It’s a TV series.
See lessAfter the mysterious arrival of a stolen diamond and her missing brother's diary, an art forgery expert discovers that her long lost family was involved in an unsolved international crime, and is forced on a quest through the dark catacombs of Siberia to discover the truth
So many disconnects, as Nir pointed out. I'll add just two more. How does and art fraud investigator's background relate to a jewel theft? Why does she go to Europe when Siberia is in Asia? ?I had to google Siberian catacombs as I was only familiar with the European ones, Nice setting. Kudos for thaRead more
So many disconnects, as Nir pointed out. I’ll add just two more.
How does and art fraud investigator’s background relate to a jewel theft?
Why does she go to Europe when Siberia is in Asia? ?I had to google Siberian catacombs as I was only familiar with the European ones, Nice setting. Kudos for that but I not seeing the need for it in the logline.
Why ‘must’ or ?how ‘thrust’? ?Doesn’t look like anything compelling other than curiosity. As opposed to this thirty word version: ??When the?stolen Eye of the Czar diamond, ?a cryptic message. and the authorities land on her doorstep, an art fraud investigator must?prove she is not her father’s?’fence’.
I only do exactly 30 word loglines (it’s a personal challenge not some silly rule you need to follow). But it hints at a lot of the elements you’ve given us so far. Eye of the Czar ratchets up the ‘importance’ of the theft and links it to Siberia. ?Her father’s fence is what the authorities believe but it leaves it open as to what his real guilt or innocence or involvement is. and now she has to go on her journey or risk going to jail. This may not be your story but I could see where it could make your first ten pages the page turner it needs to be.
Anyway, good luck with it. Take what you want from it. Trash the rest.
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