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An inexperienced rookie detective operates undercover in the Berlin nightlife to solve the mysterious vanishing of disco visitors until he himself becomes a victim of physical and psychological abuse.
As said before an inciting incident would help and specifying what kind of abuse. Perhaps including an antagonist would help as well. Is the abuse something he's doing to himself or as an antagonist doing it? One last thing, "rookie" does mean inexperienced so you can choose one or the other and itRead more
As said before an inciting incident would help and specifying what kind of abuse. Perhaps including an antagonist would help as well. Is the abuse something he’s doing to himself or as an antagonist doing it? One last thing, “rookie” does mean inexperienced so you can choose one or the other and it will mean the same thing.
See lessOut on his own for the first time with no family or support, a mentally-challenged man with impulse control problems must overcome his limitations and face a series of cruel and indifferent characters as he chases his dream of a “normal” life.
I agree with DPG, stating a specific disease can cut out a few words, and the fact that it lacks an inciting incident. Also, what is his motivation? Why is he not happy with his life the way it is? What drives him to seek what he thinks of as a 'normal' life? Perhaps using " an impulsive man' ratherRead more
I agree with DPG, stating a specific disease can cut out a few words, and the fact that it lacks an inciting incident. Also, what is his motivation? Why is he not happy with his life the way it is? What drives him to seek what he thinks of as a ‘normal’ life? Perhaps using ” an impulsive man’ rather than “a man with impulse control problems” is more precise and also cuts out extra words. One last thing, maybe try to narrow down to a specific antagonist, rather than “a series of cruel and indifferent characters” you could try focusing on one (wo)man or just try to describe how society is cruel and indifferent to people who are mentally challenged.
See lessTwo lovers, living in different universes, have the unfortunate fate of acknowledging each other’s existence as the two lovers start dreaming of being in each other’s body and both fall madly in love with each other. .
There is no inciting incident. Is there something specific that causes them have knowledge of each other's existence? What is the plot? Why do they fall in love? Where is the conflict?
There is no inciting incident. Is there something specific that causes them have knowledge of each other’s existence? What is the plot? Why do they fall in love? Where is the conflict?
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