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After accepting the reality of being raped by a woman, a reformed demigod assassin tries to deal with his depression by getting back into the business of hunting people who bear the Chimera Mark.
Revision: After accepting the reality of being raped by a woman, a reformed ?assassin who is a demigod tries to deal with his depression by becoming an assassin once again, which starts him on the path of learning what the mysterious Chimera Mark is.
Revision:
After accepting the reality of being raped by a woman, a reformed ?assassin who is a demigod tries to deal with his depression by becoming an assassin once again, which starts him on the path of learning what the mysterious Chimera Mark is.
See less300 years ago, the Penitente rose from the ashes of the Pueblo Revolts. Today Diana believes her family’s dark past has caught up to her when the body of a crucified man is found in the desert.
It seems that the two sentences in your logline are completely unrelated. While I don't know your story, a quick suggestion would be: "After a man has been found crucified in the desert, a(n) (adjective to describe Diana) woman starts to believe that her dark past has caught up to her." And then posRead more
It seems that the two sentences in your logline are completely unrelated. While I don’t know your story, a quick suggestion would be: “After a man has been found crucified in the desert, a(n) (adjective to describe Diana) woman starts to believe that her dark past has caught up to her.” And then possibly somehow insert the first sentence after that to connect it to Diana, since I’m guessing her family dark past has something to do with the Penitente rising. Then make a goal for your character.
See lessWhenever a pain in the ass hitman sleeps, he always wakes up to a new future in the middle of his next hit until he decides to stay up and abandon mission, and discovers a thieves? guild?s plot to rob Big Pharm of a drug that grants immortal health, no sleep required.
I don't think I fully understand it, but from what I gather is basically that a hitman goes to sleep and then somehow wakes during his next mission. Alright, so the logline needs to be simple. You should clarify the inciting incident which seems to be the hitman abandoning his mission. Try to just cRead more
I don’t think I fully understand it, but from what I gather is basically that a hitman goes to sleep and then somehow wakes during his next mission. Alright, so the logline needs to be simple. You should clarify the inciting incident which seems to be the hitman abandoning his mission. Try to just cut out the long explanation of his ability, it just seems too complicated in the logline. ?If I understand correctly, then perhaps you could say something like: “When a hitman who is transported to his next mission whenever he falls asleep decides to stay awake to avoid a mission…” ?And is the hitman’s goal to take this drug so he never has to sleep? Or is it to stop this plot? State what the hitman’s goal is.
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