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  1. Posted: July 20, 2017In: SciFi

    Following a near-death experience, a down to earth cop discovers a secret society of astral travelers are manipulating major events in the physical world and works to prevent an imminent attack he suspects they are planning.

    Dkpough1 Uberwriter
    Added an answer on July 21, 2017 at 4:33 am

    I find that most SciFi, especially action oriented ones, lack a compelling, interesting antagonist. The writer gets so lost in trying to explore this world they've created that they just throw in a mustache-twirling bad guy or gal for the protagonist to defeat. Like Foxtrot mentioned, what is the anRead more

    I find that most SciFi, especially action oriented ones, lack a compelling, interesting antagonist. The writer gets so lost in trying to explore this world they’ve created that they just throw in a mustache-twirling bad guy or gal for the protagonist to defeat.
    Like Foxtrot mentioned, what is the antagonist’s goal? What is motivating them? How do they challenge the protagonist? Is there a main antagonist, a Darth Vader to this group, someone who leads or whoever is the most compelling? Perhaps it’s someone the protagonist knows.
    Something I do is to make a logline from the perspective of the antagonist. Or at least I write down their goal and think through the motivation. The audience doesn’t need to agree with what the antagonist(or protagonist for that matter) is doing, but they should understand?why.
    Here’s an example using some elements from your concept but making up my own story:?After discovering a secret society of astral projecting terrorists, a humble cop trapped in the astral plane must learn to affect the physical world so he can prevent their next attack. (31)

    I tried to include my suggestions. I hope this helps.

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  2. Posted: July 20, 2017In: SciFi

    Following a near-death experience, a down to earth cop discovers a secret society of astral travelers are manipulating major events in the physical world and works to prevent an imminent attack he suspects they are planning.

    Dkpough1 Uberwriter
    Added an answer on July 20, 2017 at 8:51 pm

    "Following a near-death experience, a down to earth cop discovers a secret society of astral travelers are manipulating major events in the physical world and works to prevent an imminent attack he suspects they are planning." How does a near-death experience relate to him discover this society? DoeRead more

    “Following a near-death experience, a down to earth cop discovers a secret society of astral travelers are manipulating major events in the physical world and works to prevent an imminent attack he suspects they are planning.”

    How does a near-death experience relate to him discover this society? Does he himself become an astral projector and run into this group? If not, then how would he fight against them? Does this group cause his near-death experience? If so, describe it more specifically.

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  3. Posted: July 19, 2017In: Drama

    After a young businessman is told that he is a loser and his life is lonely and meaningless, he observes the people in his city and sees what makes them feel loved so that he too can be like them.

    Dkpough1 Uberwriter
    Added an answer on July 19, 2017 at 9:13 am

    What's the conflict? Story is conflict. It's good for a movie character to have an inner conflict, but a logline should only describe the external conflict. What is his objective goal?

    What’s the conflict? Story is conflict. It’s good for a movie character to have an inner conflict, but a logline should only describe the external conflict. What is his objective goal?

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