Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
When her occult bookshop is burned down, an angry, self-loathing Witch must stop a secret organisation from murdering powerful witches.
"Also I?m totally not sure how she?s going to take down this organisation, other than she?s more powerful than she knows." This statement brings to mind a deus ex machina device where she suddenly learns she's more powerful than she thought before and then she wins. Rather than have her win becauseRead more
“Also I?m totally not sure how she?s going to take down this organisation, other than she?s more powerful than she knows.”
This statement brings to mind a deus ex machina device where she suddenly learns she’s more powerful than she thought before and then she wins. Rather than have her win because she’s more powerful, I suggest making her use her wits to use the power she already has in order to defeat her opponent. Unless a major plot point is her trying to increase her power to be strong enough, then that’s my suggestion.
See lessFor example, where does the organization get its resources? She can attack them by attacking their resources. Why do they hunt witches? Is it based on misinformation or fear? Can she use compassion and information in an attempt to change people’s minds?
My point is that it doesn’t have to end in a big, CG filled battle(maybe with a sky beam?).
Just some things to think about.
Is this a sequel? Do you plan to make it into a franchise?
When her occult bookshop is burned down, an angry, self-loathing Witch must stop a secret organisation from murdering powerful witches.
I agree with Nir Shelter in that the concept has a good hook. But for the logline maybe you could be a little more specific? How exactly does she plan to stop this organization? If they've been murdering powerful witches, how can she stop them? Also, something to think about is the antagonist. FirstRead more
I agree with Nir Shelter in that the concept has a good hook. But for the logline maybe you could be a little more specific? How exactly does she plan to stop this organization? If they’ve been murdering powerful witches, how can she stop them?
See lessAlso, something to think about is the antagonist. First, consider choosing and developing a character, the main face of the opposing organization. Why do they want to kill witches?
Something I do for all of my stories(which are also Fantasy/SciFi) is create a logline from the perspective of the antagonist. What motivates them?
After his son is shot in a drive-by, a gangster must use his crippled werewolf abilities to kill the vengeful vampire who has been attacking his gang.
I think that making a gang of werewolves vs a gang of vampires is just the premise of a number of other movies. It is just a CGI fest while I am writing a much more personal story set in an urban world. Besides, I wouldn't really see the point of a pack of werewolves or vampires entrenching themselvRead more
I think that making a gang of werewolves vs a gang of vampires is just the premise of a number of other movies. It is just a CGI fest while I am writing a much more personal story set in an urban world. Besides, I wouldn’t really see the point of a pack of werewolves or vampires entrenching themselves in an urban landscape like that. Rather than being a gangster setting with a touch of magic, it becomes a magical setting with some urban combat thrown in.
In other words, putting too much magic into a story like this takes away the ‘magic’ of the story.
Putting a whole pack of werewolves into it takes away from the story, which is pretty simple. One woman trying to get vengeance, and one man trying to protect everything he has left. While the gangs are used by both sides, they are put to the fairly quickly as the two powerhouses battle it out.
And in response to “For this genre, I submit that ideally, the inciting incident should establish ? or at least tip a reader off ? what kind of world or character the story is about.”
It does. It’s about a gangster, it just happens to have some magic thrown in.
See lessThanks for your input. I will review this thread again and see if I can find any suggestions to include.