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After his son is shot in a drive-by, a gangster must use his crippled werewolf abilities to kill the vengeful vampire who has been attacking his gang.
The son does survive. He gets shot and is taken to the hospital, where is his father doesn't want him because he could be attacked there. I was just responding to your idea of the inciting incident being that the son is turned into a vampire when I think it is more dramatic and to have the son shotRead more
The son does survive. He gets shot and is taken to the hospital, where is his father doesn’t want him because he could be attacked there. I was just responding to your idea of the inciting incident being that the son is turned into a vampire when I think it is more dramatic and to have the son shot non-fatally and then be what drives the main character, because he has to protect him.
See lessAs I said in my earlier comment, this vampire can survive in sunlight, though she is weakened. If she was a normal vampire and had to go into her coffin or whatever in the day, then one weakened werewolf could tear through a gang of normal people and just stake her while sleeps. No challenge. It gives the main character a stark advantage over the antagonist.
After his son is shot in a drive-by, a gangster must use his crippled werewolf abilities to kill the vengeful vampire who has been attacking his gang.
I've been thinking more about your feedback, dpg. I already touched on it in my response before, but I have a little more to add. She doesn't openly use her vampire powers in the middle of the day because of the aforementioned hush-hush nature of magic and the consequences those actions would bring.Read more
I’ve been thinking more about your feedback, dpg. I already touched on it in my response before, but I have a little more to add. She doesn’t openly use her vampire powers in the middle of the day because of the aforementioned hush-hush nature of magic and the consequences those actions would bring. Which, being fairly new to the supernatural community, she doesn’t fully grasp but yet she still knows not to cross that line. She plays in his world, a gangster. Not only that, but the stakes and the lengths she’ll go to get vengeance escalate throughout the story, as she starts to?become bolder and more accustomed to her power.
See lessSo, I ask you a question now, which would be more compelling, a man having to stop his son from being turned into a vampire in front of him at the climax, the height of emotion, or at the beginning of the story, which just leads to an empty kind of vengeance? At the beginning she shows she can get to him, his son is in danger, the only person he has left, but he can still be protected, what drives him.
Thanks for the discussion. I’m happy with what I have so far and you’ve made me look through and examine what I have.
When a disaffected war hero takes control of a nuclear missile silo, the resourceful silo commander must take it back while hiding the fact that she is a Russian spy.
"When a disaffected war hero takes control of a nuclear missile silo, the resourceful silo commander must take it back while hiding the fact that she is a Russian spy." This logline raises interest, but I see a problem and it raises a question for clarification. First, when is it set? Also, wouldn'tRead more
“When a disaffected war hero takes control of a nuclear missile silo, the resourceful silo commander must take it back while hiding the fact that she is a Russian spy.”
This logline raises interest, but I see a problem and it raises a question for clarification. First, when is it set? Also, wouldn’t nuclear facilities have a bit of security? And just one man/woman takes control of it? Perhaps make it a team.
The problem I see is that the logline presents two objective goals. Take back the silo and hide that she’s a spy. So, since I’m assuming that the main action of the film would be to take back the silo, how does doing this help her keep her secret? How do these two objectives tie together? How does having to work to keep her secret branch out from her trying to take back the silo?
See lessOtherwise, I think the story has a good hook.