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When a teenager discovers she can walk into the graffiti worlds beyond the walls, she accidentally wakes the shadows that her Dad trapped years ago and she must now find a way to save a city and her Dad.
"When a teenager discovers she can walk into the graffiti worlds beyond the walls, she accidentally wakes the shadows that her Dad trapped years ago and she must now find a way to save a city and her Dad." Some of the phrasing is too vague. What do you mean by shadows? Just regular shadows that areRead more
“When a teenager discovers she can walk into the graffiti worlds beyond the walls, she accidentally wakes the shadows that her Dad trapped years ago and she must now find a way to save a city and her Dad.”
Some of the phrasing is too vague. What do you mean by shadows? Just regular shadows that are sentient? The inciting incident should be different, something like when her dad is kidnapped, or something. Just because she discovers she has powers doesn’t mean that she MUST save her father. Her father has to in danger first in order to save him, so that should be the inciting incident.
See less‘When a mentally ill patient refuses to leave his home, a probationary constable discovers her training could never prepare her for the deadly lesson she?s about to face.’
"?When a mentally ill patient refuses to leave his home, a probationary constable discovers her training could never prepare her for the deadly lesson she?s about to face.?" "When a probationary constable encounters a mentally ill patient refusing to leave his home, she must negotiate with him to avRead more
“?When a mentally ill patient refuses to leave his home, a probationary constable discovers her training could never prepare her for the deadly lesson she?s about to face.?”
“When a probationary constable encounters a mentally ill patient refusing to leave his home, she must negotiate with him to avoid a fatal ending.?”
In both versions, the post seems to only describe a single scene. Someone trying to talk someone out their home. (Though it does spring to mind the film “Man on a Ledge”, where they take a concept that seemingly would be a single scene and stretch it into a whole film, and the man remains on the ledge for quite some time).
See lessFor the whole film, the logline needs to be composed of these elements:
Main Character:
(Possibly)Inciting incident:
Goal formed because of inciting incident:
Action taken to achieve goal:
Apply those to your story and then a logline will pretty much form itself. But I can’t really suggest anything because I don’t what the plot is.
When a well connected journalist gets double-crossed by a damaged and psychologically abused terrorist, she must find a way to stop her before she releases a biological weapon on an unsuspecting city.
"When a journalist gets double-crossed by a terrorist seeking power, She must figure out a way to stop her before civilisation is destroyed." What specific event? What does the terrorist do to double-cross her? What is the terrorist's goal that the journalist must stop? And why not just call the copRead more
“When a journalist gets double-crossed by a terrorist seeking power, She must figure out a way to stop her before civilisation is destroyed.”
What specific event? What does the terrorist do to double-cross her? What is the terrorist’s goal that the journalist must stop? And why not just call the cops?
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The inciting incident doesn’t create motivation for the protagonist to pursue her goal. What about this betrayal makes her have to stop a terrorist? Why not the cops? Why would the terrorist want to destroy civilization?(In other words, it sounds like a one-note villain who is just evil so the protagonist has someone to punch when the time comes.)