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A “guinea pig” A US Infantry division, formed immediately after Pearl Harbor and populated with middle-aged draftees, becomes the most respected, effective and feared unit in the Pacific Theater, earning the nickname “The Old Bastards”.
Re: becomes the most respected, effective and feared unit in the Pacific Theater... As currently written, the logline gives away the ending, something a logline is not supposed to do. A logline should set up the dramatic problem, but not tip its hand about the resolution. "The Old Bastards" might beRead more
Re: becomes the most respected, effective and feared unit in the Pacific Theater…
As currently written, the logline gives away the ending, something a logline is not supposed to do. A logline should set up the dramatic problem, but not tip its hand about the resolution.
“The Old Bastards” might be a good title for the project. But how the division –and movie– earns that title is a question to be raised, not answered in the logline.
See lessA rookie airport security guard battles absurd rules and corporate politics while managing a quirky group of night shifters, struggling to maintain his sanity and job amidst constant workplace drama.
The concept needs to be framed in terms of a singluar, specific objective goal the rookie is struggling to achieve inspite of crazy situations and absurd rules. What is the through line, the story spine on which all the other pieces hang?
The concept needs to be framed in terms of a singluar, specific objective goal the rookie is struggling to achieve inspite of crazy situations and absurd rules. What is the through line, the story spine on which all the other pieces hang?
See lessIn a post-apocalyptic world, five genetically enhanced children raised by a corrupted AI must navigate a crime-riddled society, unknowingly undermining a rival AI striving to end war and violence.
The hook of the story is carbon-based kids being raised by silicon-based AI. And I think it is an intriguing one. However: >>Dramatic Question: Are the kids really the future of the world, or are they the harbingers of its downfall? It is better to frame the dramatic question in terms of a speRead more
The hook of the story is carbon-based kids being raised by silicon-based AI. And I think it is an intriguing one.
However:
>>Dramatic Question: Are the kids really the future of the world, or are they the harbingers of its downfall?
It is better to frame the dramatic question in terms of a specific, concrete objective goal that either the kids or the the AI must achieve. What is that specific, concrete objective goal?
By that I mean, what’s the visual? Movies are a visual medium. What’s the visual on kids being “really the future of the world” or “harbingers of its downfall”?
What’s the scene that dramatizes and visualizes that the main character(s) have succeeded–or failed?
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