1. Posted: August 18, 2016In:

    When he receives his visa to the US, a struggling poet returns back home to resolve issues with his overbearing mother and confront the death of his terminally ill sister before departing his country.

    dpg Singularity

    A logline should be about one primary objective goal. The revised logline ?lists 3: ?1] resolve issues with his overbearing mother; 2] confront the death of his sister; 3] depart for another country.There may be secondary goals in the script but they should all be subordinate to the primary goal thaRead more

    A logline should be about one primary objective goal. The revised logline ?lists 3: ?1] resolve issues with his overbearing mother; 2] confront the death of his sister; 3] depart for another country.

    There may be secondary goals in the script but they should all be subordinate to the primary goal that drives the story. ?And there is no need to list them in a logline.

    Also “resolve issues” is vague, lacks specifics. ? And “confront the death…” strikes me as a weak choice of words. ?Some might take it to mean that her death is all about him — his emotional reaction to it. ?Well, we all sorrow over the death of a loved one and it compels us to reflect upon our own mortality. ?But a protagonist should ?have the primary goal of wanting to comfort his sister, not merely confront her death.

    So, what is the one specific and most important thing he needs to accomplish?

    (I like Richiev’s idea that he desperately wants to recite a poem he has written in memoriam . But his shrewish mother refuses to allow him to recite it during her funeral. ?I mean since he’s a poet, put that to work in the story.)

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  2. Posted: August 17, 2016In:

    A Russian Orthodox farmer torches his home and leaves with his dog hours before Operation Barbarossa and the Nazis invade Russia.

    dpg Singularity

    Since Stalin was caught completely off guard by the Nazi invasion ?on June 22, 1941 in spite of warnings from his own intelligence services, ?is the farmer's "scorched earth" act and flight coincidental or did he have some premonition that the invasion was about to occur? ? What is the ?cause and efRead more

    Since Stalin was caught completely off guard by the Nazi invasion ?on June 22, 1941 in spite of warnings from his own intelligence services, ?is the farmer’s “scorched earth” act and flight coincidental or did he have some premonition that the invasion was about to occur? ? What is the ?cause and effect relationship between the invasion and his flight? ?Why did he torch his home and leave?

    And then what? ?Where is he headed? What becomes his objective goal, his destination?

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  3. Posted: August 10, 2016In:

    When a hunting trip in the Highlands of Iceland goes horribly wrong a disabled teenager must rely on her inner strength and local know-how to survive the merciless elements and save her mortaly wounded hunting guide father from the clutches of his deranged foreign client.

    dpg Singularity

    >>must rely on her inner strength and local know-how That goes without saying. ?It's what every survival story demands of the protagonist. ?So it need not be stated in a logline. Can you be more specific about the disability? ?What is the teenager's handicap that ups the ante, increases the riRead more

    >>must rely on her inner strength and local know-how

    That goes without saying. ?It’s what every survival story demands of the protagonist. ?So it need not be stated in a logline.

    Can you be more specific about the disability? ?What is the teenager’s handicap that ups the ante, increases the risk, diminishes his prospects for survival?

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