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When a black teenager is murdered, two homicide detectives struggle to set aside their differences as racial tensions erupt in 1990’s New Orleans.
The objective goal is to solve the murder. ?The strained relationship is a complicating factor; they must resolve that complication to achieve their objective goal.As originally written, the logline is a plot with co-protagonists who come with an array of ingredients for a spicy ?gumbo of a workingRead more
The objective goal is to solve the murder. ?The strained relationship is a complicating factor; they must resolve that complication to achieve their objective goal.
As originally written, the logline is a plot with co-protagonists who come with an array of ingredients for a spicy ?gumbo of a working relationship: ?white vs black, female versus male, ambitious rookie versus seasoned veteran. ?More ingredients, perhaps, than can be crammed into a concise logline.
The question I ask myself is : which of the two has the stronger, longer character arc? ? Who has the most to overcome externally and grow internally to achieve the objective goal? ?Whoever it is, perhaps, ought to be the primary protagonist.
I’m inclined to tag the veteran Black detective as a mentor character. He may not be perfect, but he is clearly more experienced and has acquired more street smarts. ?The female detective needs him more than he needs her. ?In fact, initially he probably would ?think he?doesn’t?needs her at all — doesn’t want her at all because she brings more liabilities than assets to the partnership.
Her task, then, in terms of their relationship is to prove she’s a worthy partner as she pursues the objective goal. ?So I’m inclined to suggest refocusing the logline around the female detective.
fwiw
See lessWhen a black teenager is murdered, two homicide detectives struggle to set aside their differences as racial tensions erupt in 1990’s New Orleans.
>>>and what do racial tensions have to do with them solving the case?In New Orleans, then, and now: everything .The logline appears to capitalize on ?the news hook of the current tension between cops and Blacks in too many American communities. ?However, the logline may need some polishing.Read more
>>>and what do racial tensions have to do with them solving the case?
In New Orleans, then, and now: everything .
The logline appears to capitalize on ?the news hook of the current tension between cops and Blacks in too many American communities. ?However, the logline may need some polishing. ?Why must they ?put aside their differences — because one of them is Black?
And ?they must put asides their differences ?to do what? ?What becomes their objective goal as a result of the murder? Solve the murder — find out who did it? ?Or is there a suspect and they just have to find him? ?And what specifically is the causal link between the murder and erupting racial tensions. ?I mean, I can guess. But I shouldn’t have to. ?Has the murder incited riots and looting?
See lessAfter escaping from their previous lives, ten unrelated tenants seek refuge in a shared household to rebuild themselves for the better, only to be hindered by the oncoming cruelties that await them.
For the purposes of a logline, ten characters -- unrelated at that -- are too many, even for an ensemble cast. ?A logline is almost always focused on one protagonist. Who is the dominant, alpha-character, the 1st among "equals"? ?Select her or him and build the plot around that character.And whoeverRead more
For the purposes of a logline, ten characters — unrelated at that — are too many, even for an ensemble cast. ?A logline is almost always focused on one protagonist. Who is the dominant, alpha-character, the 1st among “equals”? ?Select her or him and build the plot around that character.
And whoever becomes the protagonist needs to be provided with a specific objective goal. ? How does “rebuild for the better” translate into a specific objective goal? And “hindered by oncoming cruelties” needs to be made more specific in terms of a particular, singular antagonist who must be defeated or a specific obstacle that must be overcome.
Consult the guidelines under “Training” at the top of the web page for the fundamentals of writing an industry standard logline.
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