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When a researcher creates a technology that can see anything from the last twenty four hours, a former FBI profiler must find him before the private assassins of a corrupt politician he exposed.
How about refocusing the plot so the scientist is the protagonist. ??1] He seems to be a more interesting character, certainly more inventive than the profiler. 2] He has more at stake. ?Like everything ?-- his life. ?By comparison, What's at stake for the profiler? ?What does he stand to gain or loRead more
How about refocusing the plot so the scientist is the protagonist. ??1] He seems to be a more interesting character, certainly more inventive than the profiler. 2] He has more at stake. ?Like everything ?– his life. ?By comparison, What’s at stake for the profiler? ?What does he stand to gain or lose by the outcome? ?What skin does he have in the game?
If you want to retain the profiler as the protagonist, then he needs to have serious skin in the game. ?It needs to be life or death stakes for him, too. (And what particular skill does being an unemployed profiler have that helps him to find the scientist?)
fwiw
Also, if the scientist can know everything that’s happened in the preceding 24 hours, then doesn’t he have the advantage of a certain amount of foreknowledge about the movements of the assassins? ?Knowing more the movements of the assassins than they can know about his movements, and knowing more about the assassins movements than even the profiler can, ?why can’t he just take appropriate evasive, life-saving action?
Finally, ?rather than kill the scientist, why wouldn’t the corrupt politician rather kidnap the inventor and his technology so he can use it for his own corrupt ends? ?Wouldn’t having an omniscient view of world events, albeit on a time delayed basis, ?enable him to defeat all comers, all threats.
See lessAfter a special forces operative witnesses experiments on soldiers & prisoners, he abandons a promising military career & returns to the quiet life. But when a deadly outbreak reeks of government conspiracy & threatens his family, he jumps into the fight to expose the culprits & track down the cure.
What do you conceive as the hook of the story?What makes this different from, makes it stand out from all the other films already made about plagues and epidemics?Why must the protagonist be an investment banker? ?What's so dramatically special about his profession in relation to the epidemic? ?HowRead more
What do you conceive as the hook of the story?
What makes this different from, makes it stand out from all the other films already made about plagues and epidemics?
Why must the protagonist be an investment banker? ?What’s so dramatically special about his profession in relation to the epidemic? ?How does being an investment banker make him a sympathetic character? He’s in the over-privileged 1% with money and access to resources to better his odds than the other 99%. ?So why should the audience (most of whom are in the other 99%) care about him?
How does”attempts at redemption” translate into a concrete objective goal? ?What specifically must he do? His efforts may be “fruitless” but what exactly he is struggling to do, what’s his game plan to survive? ?And does it include saving others?
Take as an example “Schindler’s List”: ?the protagonist’s redemptive act for exploiting Jewish labor during World War 2 translates into the specific, concrete objective goal of saving as many Jews as he can from the ghetto and Auschwitz. ?He risks all, spends every pfennig he has to save others.
See lessAfter a special forces operative witnesses experiments on soldiers & prisoners, he abandons a promising military career & returns to the quiet life. But when a deadly outbreak reeks of government conspiracy & threatens his family, he jumps into the fight to expose the culprits & track down the cure.
>>>>finds out through back channelsI think it would ?make for a more powerful and interesting story for him to find out ?by being on the front line, not through 6 degrees of separation from the front line via back channels.By powerful I mean being on the front line intrinsically makes thRead more
>>>>finds out through back channels
I think it would ?make for a more powerful and interesting story for him to find out ?by being on the front line, not through 6 degrees of separation from the front line via back channels.
By powerful I mean being on the front line intrinsically makes the issue more personal for the protatonist; it intensifies his emotional experience and gives him greater emotional stakes. ?And vicariously through the psychological conduit of empathy for him, it intensifies the audience’s emotional experience as they watch the story unfold.
Also, what is the story hook, the concept that differentiates this story from others about epidemics? ?Like “Contagion” (2011) which also involved the CDC?
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