Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
When an entire town gets a virus from the trial of a brain-activated smart phone, a self-righteous hippy must stop the company and shut down the trial.
Do users gets a virus --malware-- in their phones.? Or do they contract a literal virus? Either way what, ?are the stakes? Why must the hippy "deputize"?himself to shut down the company and the?virus?? If it's malware -- well, that is such a quotidian problem these days with computers and smart phonRead more
Do users gets a virus –malware– in their phones.? Or do they contract a literal virus?
Either way what, ?are the stakes? Why must the hippy “deputize”?himself to shut down the company and the?virus?? If it’s malware — well, that is such a quotidian problem these days with computers and smart phones (alas).? What makes this malware so dramatically significant?? What unique jeopardy does it?pose that makes it?stand out from all the other malware?? And what qualifies the hippy to solve the problem?? Is he also a geek, a code warrior?
See lessTerminally ill single dad romances a vulnerable heiress to procure a new home for his son, but his unexpected connection to her past jeopardizes his son’s life and thrusts fates of others into his hands, just as the time runs short.
Slight revision:A terminally ill single father romances a vulnerable heiress to?secure a home and future for his son."Terminally ill" implies the inciting incident that motivates his action -- what he is incited to do as a result of the diagnosis.Your logline tells the story from the point of view oRead more
Slight revision:
A terminally ill single father romances a vulnerable heiress to?secure a home and future for his son.
“Terminally ill” implies the inciting incident that motivates his action — what he is incited to do as a result of the diagnosis.
Your logline tells the story from the point of view of the father, which is okay.? But for your consideration, I think there is ?an even more interesting story line?embedded in the concept, that of the son. Who, after all, is the stakeholder, the one who has to live with the consequences of his father’s action.? What if the heiress likes him? — but he doesn’t like her?? What if, instead, he prefers his real mother, a woman of modest means who?cannot provide him with the material support and future opportunities that the heiress is all to eager to shower upon him?
What if he likes his ?step-mother and certainly likes? her lifestyle, but the heiress does not like him?but accepts him as part of the “package deal”?? Only to?reject him when the truth comes out about his terminal illness– as it surely will — and?she realizes she’s ?been conned by his father?
I don’t know where you’re going with the concept, but I can see many interesting possibilities.? Good luck with your writing.
See lessFreeze
Agree with FFF, the premise is "very conceptual", which is, to say too abstract to visualize.? What the visual on "conquering 5 world problems"?? What are the 5 problems?And why? 5?? Why not 4 or 3 or 2 or ?just 1??? Who/what has created this? apocalypse??It didn't just happen.Who made the call on tRead more
Agree with FFF, the premise is “very conceptual”, which is, to say too abstract to visualize.? What the visual on “conquering 5 world problems”?? What are the 5 problems?
And why? 5?? Why not 4 or 3 or 2 or ?just 1??? Who/what has created this? apocalypse??It didn’t just happen.
Who made the call on the 394 people to cull from the herd of 8 billion people on earth?? Who transported them, gave them the problems to solve– or else?
Who devised this “apocalyptic game”, established completely arbitrary rules, and arbitrarily dictated who must play or perish?? And why?
The premise relies on too much “magic”, too many?arbitrary rules and ?extraordinary?departures from the norms of the world as we know it.? It raises more questions? in my mind about how all the pieces fit together ?than interest in how it plays out.
fwiw
See less