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A serial killer taxi driver takes revenge on behalf of victimised passengers while trying to avoid detection.
Anyone reading the logline will automatically think of "Taxi Driver", a tough act to follow.? And I'm not sure the concept as presented in the logline sufficiently differentiates it from that movie.? For example, that he? is driven by audio/visual delusions. Could the story be refocused to focus onRead more
Anyone reading the logline will automatically think of “Taxi Driver”, a tough act to follow.? And I’m not sure the concept as presented in the logline sufficiently differentiates it from that movie.? For example, that he? is driven by audio/visual delusions.
Could the story be refocused to focus on the cop as the protagonist pursuing a serial killer taxi driver? Maybe?update it to?a good-guy cop pursuing a serial killer?Uber driver?? No doubt, you’ll ?have to use a fictional name for the ride sharing service.? But it would have a more contemporary hook.
fwiw
See lessWith no will left after her mother dies, a bitter, middle-aged woman comes back to her hometown and battles her siblings in order to convince the family lawyer that she deserves her mother’s rich estate.
I suggest that some? research needs to be done to make the premise credible.First, of all, the legal fight would be over "the will" not "the deed".? Also, in most countries, when a person dies "intestate" --without a will --?the division of property is decided by a court, not by? the wannabe heirs oRead more
I suggest that some? research needs to be done to make the premise credible.
First, of all, the legal fight would be over “the will” not “the deed”.? Also, in most countries, when a person dies “intestate” –without a will –?the division of property is decided by a court, not by? the wannabe heirs or their lawyers.? In which case, it is more probable that the estate would be divided equitably among all legitimate heirs.? So it’s not?the lawyer she has to convince — it’s the probate judge.
And as Nir Shelter noted, the main character comes off greedy, hence, unsympathetic, ?given that she stands to benefit substantially from the equitable division of a “rich ?estate “.? But, no, she wants it all.
See lessDying single father on the run from his criminal past must come to grips with series of choices that led him to commit murder in order to procure a new suitable home for his young son with special needs.
Even though the emotional core of your story?may be?an internal struggle, for the purpose of a logline and dramatic structure, it ought to be framed within the context of an external struggle towards an objective goal.? Or as you said, use the external plot as a vehicle to explore the internal storyRead more
Even though the emotional core of your story?may be?an internal struggle, for the purpose of a logline and dramatic structure, it ought to be framed within the context of an external struggle towards an objective goal.? Or as you said, use the external plot as a vehicle to explore the internal story.
I think you have a compelling “vehicle”?for that purpose.? His external struggle distilled to its essence seems to be:? A convict with terminal cancer escapes from prison in order to find a suitable?home for his special-needs son before he dies of cancer.? (23 words)
Pack as much psychological baggage as you wish into the vehicle of that plot in the script.? But for the purpose of the logline, focus on the external struggle.? Which, in any event, imho, contains the hook — the most interesting?and unique?element of your story.
What’s so? unique and different about a story about a person who has to come to grips with his past?? Stories like that are a dime a dozen.
But a convict dying of cancer who escapes from prison to secure a life for his special-needs son — now that’s different.???That’s a hook, that’s the?sizzle in the steak of your story.??A logline is a?marketing tool; it should be used to sell the?sizzle — not the steak.???The sizzle is what is going to attract producers, actors?and the money-men to the script.
And finally,?I suggest it ?would?strengthen?the logline to be more specific about the “special needs”.? Is it a cognitive disability, a physical handicap (like cerebral palsy)?
fwiw
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