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After she barely survives a suicide attempt, a teenager, believing death is the best solution, records her experiences on her transformative journey to reclaim her life.
"Believing death is the best solution" I presume is the explanatory motivation for the suicide attempt.? But I think that goes without saying -- why else would people attempt suicide if they didn't think that suicide was the best solution, the only option left??? So, perhaps it's redundant to say soRead more
“Believing death is the best solution” I presume is the explanatory motivation for the suicide attempt.? But I think that goes without saying — why else would people attempt suicide if they didn’t think that suicide was the best solution, the only option left??? So, perhaps it’s redundant to say so.
“Recording her experiences, et cetera….” is too general for an objective goal.? Her “transformative journey” needs to entail a specific objective goal she struggles for as a result of surviving? the suicide attempt.? (And looming in the story is the threat she’ll try suicide again if she fails or the stress of the struggle becomes unbearable.? People who survive a suicide attempt are at high risk of trying again.)
See lessWhen an intergalactic refugee crash-lands at his farm, a timid teenager must find the courage to protect the exile and himself from malicious space hunters.
Okay.? I suggest being more specific as to his refugee status.??Like, he's fleeing political and ethnic persecution in his own world.The parallels to current earthly refugee crises?are obvious and, imho, ?could be leveraged to allegorical effect enhancing the thematic value of the concept.??? That wRead more
Okay.? I suggest being more specific as to his refugee status.??Like, he’s fleeing political and ethnic persecution in his own world.
The parallels to current earthly refugee crises?are obvious and, imho, ?could be leveraged to allegorical effect enhancing the thematic value of the concept.???
That would make for ?a short film I would like to see.? Best wishes.
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>>>without any logical explanation to it.That for me is a fundamental problem.? This is where your appeal to "The Terminal" and "The Castaway" falls short to my way of thinking. In those movies, ?we know why the Tom Hanks character is trapped in the airport and on the island. There are logiRead more
>>>without any logical explanation to it.
That for me is a fundamental problem.? This is where your appeal to “The Terminal” and “The Castaway” falls short to my way of thinking. In those movies, ?we know why the Tom Hanks character is trapped in the airport and on the island. There are logical, causal?explanations.
And if you are (finally) going to give them mysterious circumstances and ?a sign, then it needs to be foreshadowed.??They can’t just drop out the sky out of blue, er, the dark,? 1/2 way through the story chronologically ?otherwise it constitutes a deus ex machina? contrivance.? That premonition could be an unusual message that they see on what normally be a traffic sign as they are driving the into San Francisco for the dinner — a plant, a premonition.?
My point is:? supernatural events can’t just come out of nowhere.? Well, they can.? But in?movies ?they shouldn’t. ?The inviolate rule is that they must be set up, foreshadowed, usually ?in the 1st Act.? (And the real 1st Act of your story in terms of the time line is the dinner even though you are interweaving the time line such that the story starts later on the bridge)
fwiw
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