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  1. Posted: May 31, 2016In: SciFi

    To pay off a debt, an infamous bounty hunter is forced into an unlikely alliance with a young, bookish girl to track down the legendary fortune of an ancient galactic civilization.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on May 31, 2016 at 9:31 pm

    >>>I was inspired by films such as Indiana Jones, and...That's what came to mind when I read the logline: ?Indiana Jones in space. ? However, ?one plot plus element in the Indiana Jones franchise that I don't see in ?this story is a?rival for the "McGuffin", Albert Hitchcock's term for theRead more

    >>>I was inspired by films such as Indiana Jones, and…

    That’s what came to mind when I read the logline: ?Indiana Jones in space. ? However, ?one plot plus element in the Indiana Jones franchise that I don’t see in ?this story is a?rival for the “McGuffin”, Albert Hitchcock’s term for the thing that everyone in the story wants.

    In “Raiders of the Lost Ark” and “The Temple of Doom”, Nazis were pursuing the same object as Indiana. ?In “The Temple of Doom” his objective goal is to reclaim a sacred rock stolen by a secret cult.

    I suggest that the dramatic tension in your story needs to be ratched up by a rival for the legendary fortune. ?The story needs to have someone who wants it as badly as the bounty hunter does — but, like the Nazis in the Indiana Jones franchise, ?wants it for some evil purpose.

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  2. Posted: May 31, 2016In: SciFi

    To pay off a debt, an infamous bounty hunter is forced into an unlikely alliance with a young, bookish girl to track down the legendary fortune of an ancient galactic civilization.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on May 31, 2016 at 8:34 am

    FWIW: ?Reverse the casting. ?Make the bounty hunter a female, an interstellar Furiosa forced to join forces with a geeky nebbish.

    FWIW: ?Reverse the casting. ?Make the bounty hunter a female, an interstellar Furiosa forced to join forces with a geeky nebbish.

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  3. Posted: May 27, 2016In: Thriller

    When a veteran detective takes his son out for a cruise, an old acquaintance looking for revenge shows up. The little detective outsmarts the acquaintance of this dad that happens to be the killer of his mother that his father was never able to catch.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on May 31, 2016 at 8:27 am

    >>that happens to be the killer of his mother How does the kid know that? ?Or come to suspect that his dad's friend is his mother's killer. ?(But he can't initially prove it and nobody will believe him.) That should be the inciting incident.

    >>that happens to be the killer of his mother

    How does the kid know that? ?Or come to suspect that his dad’s friend is his mother’s killer. ?(But he can’t initially prove it and nobody will believe him.)
    That should be the inciting incident.

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