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The voyage to the edge of the solar system and beyond our universe starts in the Sphere of Light.
This logline sketches a vague situation, but it fails to do what a logline is supposed to do: describe a plot. ?It lacks the required elements of a protagonist, an objective goal, an antagonist, and stakes.Please consult the "Training" option at the top of the web pages for guidelines on how to consRead more
This logline sketches a vague situation, but it fails to do what a logline is supposed to do: describe a plot. ?It lacks the required elements of a protagonist, an objective goal, an antagonist, and stakes.
Please consult the “Training” option at the top of the web pages for guidelines on how to construct an industry standard logline.
See lessWhen a black 10 yr old boy?s father is abducted in apartheid South Africa he must use his lucid dreams to free his father and seek refuge in Australia.
>> on actual events that occurred during that period Good. ? That's a selling point, a strong element in favor of the story.>>>but as old as I am I still believe in magic, But, alas, that's not the primary factor to consider. The more important one is whether the target audience for tRead more
>> on actual events that occurred during that period
Good. ? That’s a selling point, a strong element in favor of the story.
>>>but as old as I am I still believe in magic,
But, alas, that’s not the primary factor to consider. The more important one is whether the target audience for the movie will believe in magic.
And, in modern drama the rule of the thumb is that the protagonist should get no lucky breaks, have no lucky magic that enables him to solve problems and win his objective goal. ?He must win success the old fashioned way by hard work, resourcefulness and courage.
There are ?two exceptions to that rule:
1] a protagonist may have a magical gift if and only if the antagonist — his most dangerous adversary — likewise has the same magical gift. ?Example: ?”Star Wars: The New Hope”. ?Luke Skywalker has the gift of the Force. ?And so does Darth Vader. ?And Darth Vader has lots of experience, has had a lot of time to develop his skill. ?Luke Skywalker hasn’t; he’s a beginner in desperate need of a mentor/master to get him ?to the Master level if he is to have any hope of prevailing.
2] The gift comes with a corresponding curse or downside that threatens not only to defeat the protagonist but destroy him or her. ?This is a standard operating “feature” of special gifts or powers in mythology. ?Cassandra is blessed with the gift of ?foretelling the future — and cursed with the fate that nobody will believe her prophesies. ?Midas gets his wish granted so that he can turn everything he touches to gold — which means he is doomed to starve to death because all the food he touches turns to inedible gold.
And in our contemporary super-hero stories, the element kryptonite renders Superman a mere mortal; it takes away his super-human powers.
To give the protagonist a magical power that no one else possesses, ?that has no curse or downside, ?that the protagonist can pull out of the hat like a rabbit whenever he needs it, ?smacks of a “deus ex machina“. ?That is not a ?selling point for a story but a deal killer, a serious liability. ?A “deus ex machina”, magical gimmick makes the solution to the plot problem contrived and it diminishes suspense.
Just saying.
BTW: ?do you have personal experiences lucid dreams?
See lessA damaged young man finally finds love only to be betrayed by his best friend which pushes him over the edge. He must regain his sanity or continue hurting others.
Not only is it vague in terms of an objective goal, it's vague in term of the inciting incident and his psychological malady. I'm guessing "betrayed by his best friend" means his best friend steals his girl. ?So say it explicitly. ?And what does "push over the edge mean"? ?Also, "continue hurting otRead more
Not only is it vague in terms of an objective goal, it’s vague in term of the inciting incident and his psychological malady.
I’m guessing “betrayed by his best friend” means his best friend steals his girl. ?So say it explicitly. ?And what does “push over the edge mean”? ?Also, “continue hurting others” — how is he hurting them?
And “continue”? ?Does that mean he was hurting them before his best friend stole his girl?
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