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It?s the late 1970?s in apartheid Johannesburg, when the father of a curious, black 10yr old boy is arrested for his involvement in an ANC terrorist bombing, the boy?s family seek political asylum in Australia and need to leave urgently. The boy is determined to find a way to free his father, he speaks to his dreams and they lead him to an unlikely ally who makes the impossible possible.
At 70 words this logine is too long, too complicated to constructively evaluate.Please review the "Training" option at the top of the web page for how to write an industry standard?logline.In fewer than 40 words, please:Who is the protagonist? What is his objective goal? Who/what opposes/stands in tRead more
At 70 words this logine is too long, too complicated to constructively evaluate.
Please review the “Training” option at the top of the web page for how to write an industry standard?logline.
In fewer than 40 words, please:
Who is the protagonist?
See lessWhat is his objective goal?
Who/what opposes/stands in the way of his achieving that goal?
When a young man converts to Islam for the love of a girl, he finds his life thrown into chaos when the mentor he befriended ends up being a terrorist, intent on bombing a train -with him omboard.
The latest iteration adds a twist to the story line that leaves me puzzled. ?She's been "excommunicated" -- although Islam uses another term with a different connotation than "excommunication" conveys in Christianity. ? And he converts anyway.Hmm. ?I was more interested in a story where it was a strRead more
The latest iteration adds a twist to the story line that leaves me puzzled. ?She’s been “excommunicated” — although Islam uses another term with a different connotation than “excommunication” conveys in Christianity. ? And he converts anyway.
Hmm. ?I was more interested in a story where it was a straight line conversion. ?He converts because she will not marry an infidel, nor will her parents give their consent (which in traditional cultures is usually required).
Well, whatever version of the logline and story you end up with, isn’t it the case that he’s converting to marry her — that is his initial objective goal? ?If so, then I think that’s the way their relationship and his conversion ought to be framed.
See lessA young man with a dark past is trying everything to stay sane until she sends him into a deep darkness that hurts anyone that gets in his way.
The purpose of a logline is to sketch out a plot. ? Alas, "stay sane" is vague and insufficient for describing a plot. ? It needs to be fleshed out with a specific course of action.In real life, when people are under great psychological stress, therapists and counselors suggest specific routines, coRead more
The purpose of a logline is to sketch out a plot. ? Alas, “stay sane” is vague and insufficient for describing a plot. ? It needs to be fleshed out with a specific course of action.
In real life, when people are under great psychological stress, therapists and counselors suggest specific routines, coping measures, diversionary and displacement activities to handle the stress, so people do not resort to their darkest impulses and do violence to others or themselves.
Likewise, in this reel life, the protagonist needs a game plan leading toward an objective goal and away from his urge to do violence to others or himself. ?What is that game plan, that objective goal?
(Of course, whether he succeeds is another matter. ?After all, it’s a thriller.)
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