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In a drought plagued future, a world weary scientist discovers water, unleashing an ancient evil that threatens the lives of her small community
As the others have said. ? The logline sets up a situation, but not a plot. ?What is the ancient evil and what is the threat it poses -- the ultimate stakes for the community? ?And what is the objective goal that arises from the threat it poses? ?What must the scientist do about what he has unwittinRead more
As the others have said. ? The logline sets up a situation, but not a plot. ?What is the ancient evil and what is the threat it poses — the ultimate stakes for the community? ?And what is the objective goal that arises from the threat it poses? ?What must the scientist do about what he has unwittingly unleashed?
See lessAn ambitious reporter determined to fast-track her career manipulates a masked vigilante to create her stories.
I think this could be a very interesting story about 2 people who cooperate to advance their own selfish interests with unintended and ever more dangerous consequences.However, the logline needs a clear statement of her objective goal. ?Why does she want to create more stories? ? Obviously, for fameRead more
I think this could be a very interesting story about 2 people who cooperate to advance their own selfish interests with unintended and ever more dangerous consequences.
However, the logline needs a clear statement of her objective goal. ?Why does she want to create more stories? ? Obviously, for fame and fortune, to advance her own career, right?
And there’s got to be something in the scheme for the vigilante, too. ?He’s got to have a want, a need that she can exploit. ?What is it?
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See lessThe Angel of God is brutalized by the police because of the color of his skin, and now his daughter a sergeant on the police force must choose her job or her family. The salvation of humanity is dependent on her choice. http://johnclandenstine.wix.com/thesentient
Agree with Nir Shelter. ?The pieces just don't seem to connect in a clear cause and effect relationship.Also "must choose" is a decisive moment in a story, but it is not an objective goal. ?A plot is not about having to choose; ?it's about what happens after?the "must choose" moment-- the consequencRead more
Agree with Nir Shelter. ?The pieces just don’t seem to connect in a clear cause and effect relationship.
Also “must choose” is a decisive moment in a story, but it is not an objective goal. ?A plot is not about having to choose; ?it’s about what happens after?the “must choose” moment– the consequences, for better and worse, that follow from the choice the protagonist makes.
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