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When a solitary 11 year old 3D prints himself, he must defend his ?twin? against a dodgy businessman who will go to any lengths to get his hands on the clone, including kidnap, blackmail and murder.
Why does the dodgy businessman want him so badly? ?What's at stake for him? ?Why does he even need him??I mean, if an 11 year old kid can clone himself, who needs the kid? ?Just grab and use the technology that did the trick and clone whoever.
Why does the dodgy businessman want him so badly? ?What’s at stake for him? ?Why does he even need him??I mean, if an 11 year old kid can clone himself, who needs the kid? ?Just grab and use the technology that did the trick and clone whoever.
See lessWhen a young man converts to Islam for the love of a girl, he finds his life thrown into chaos when the mentor he befriended ends up being a terrorist, intent on bombing a train -with him omboard.
Okay, FWIW: I've been scanning for movies where the inciting incident does not occur in the standard formula plot point time zone of 12-15 minutes (equivalent to 12-15 pages of script). ?And consequently, the plots lines have the protagonist locking into his (or her) objective goal later than the stRead more
Okay, FWIW:
I’ve been scanning for movies where the inciting incident does not occur in the standard formula plot point time zone of 12-15 minutes (equivalent to 12-15 pages of script). ?And consequently, the plots lines have the protagonist locking into his (or her) objective goal later than the standard formula ?plot point time zone of 25-30 minutes or pages. ? ?And by ?that, I mean the protagonist locks into the goal that maps to the goal statement of the corresponding logline.
Movies that have these plot points later than the standard formula are rare, exceptions to the rule, but they do exist. ?And some of them, in spite of their violation of the standard formula, are ?(mostly) critical and commercial hits. ?(Like “Gladiator”, about which I hope to eventually get around posting my take on in the Classics section. )
Suffice it to say for now that:
1]All the ‘deviant’ scripts or movies I’ve found were written by established pros — writers who earned the right to break the rules because they first showed they could play by them. ?(Newbies trying to break in with their first script don’t have that creative license.)
2]So far I have not come across a movie where the protagonist was not locked into the objective goal that would be defined as such in the logline any later than the midpoint of Act 2. ?That is, about 55-60 pages (or minutes) into the story.
So, my conclusion is that ?the protagonist of your story must lock into the objective goal described in your logline no later than the midpoint of Act 2.
Unfortunately, your protagonist doesn’t even realize he’s being used until Act 3. ?And?your logline does not explicitly state the objective goal ?he must take as a result of that discovery. ?Rather it leaves it up to us logline readers to infer what the objective goal is, which is to (obviously) foil the plot. ?But that is a vague inference.
Protagonists in Thriller movies are always having to foil this or that plot to kill lots of innocent people. ?What is the particular action your character must explicitly take — what is his objective goal, his game plan – to foil the terrorist plot in this story?
See lessAfter his father?s suicide, a drug-addicted son must defeat his only friend in a wakeboard contest to win the prize money and save his home.
When his family faces bankruptcy after his father's suicide, his drug-addicted son must defeat his only friend in a wakeboard contest to win enough money to save their home. (29 words)Or (my preference): When his family faces bankruptcy after his father's suicide, his son must kick his drug habit anRead more
When his family faces bankruptcy after his father’s suicide, his drug-addicted son must defeat his only friend in a wakeboard contest to win enough money to save their home.
(29 words)
Or (my preference):
When his family faces bankruptcy after his father’s suicide, his son must kick his drug habit and win a wakeboard contest to win enough money to save their home.
(24 words)
He does gotta clean up his bloodstream if he’s going to have any chance of winning, doesn’t he? ?That he’s got to compete against his best friend is a ?relationship complication, but surely overcoming his drug problem is a bigger problem he must overcome.
Both versions establish a clarified causal link between the inciting incident and the the objective goal: ?suicide —> bankruptcy threat—> enter contest to win $$$ —> save the home.
And both enhance the stakes. ?He’s not just trying to save the home for himself. ?It’s a opportunity to redeem himself ?from his selfish, self-destructive behavior by rising to the occasion and coming to the rescue of his family.
fwiw
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