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  1. Posted: April 8, 2016In: Family

    Peanut and Cracker Jack — To get back in the game a disgraced little league coach must turn a team of awkward, couch-potato kids with one superstar and the rival coach?s spurned daughter into champions.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on April 8, 2016 at 4:08 am

    This strikes me as another version of the?? "Bad News Bears" formula.? Well, it's been a money-maker in the past.? Maybe it'll?appeal to a new generation of kids.? But I don't see anything that makes this logline stand out,? that adds a clever and irresistible?ingredient to the formula.fwiw

    This strikes me as another version of the?? “Bad News Bears” formula.? Well, it’s been a money-maker in the past.? Maybe it’ll?appeal to a new generation of kids.? But I don’t see anything that makes this logline stand out,? that adds a clever and irresistible?ingredient to the formula.

    fwiw

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  2. Posted: April 5, 2016In: Drama

    After his older brother’s unexpected death, a sheltered but bold young teen living on his traditional family’s farm craves independence elsewhere, but his freedom is threatened when he is pronounced the next heir to the farm.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on April 7, 2016 at 7:26 am

    >>his freedom is threatened when he is pronounced the next heir to the farm.'How is it threatened?? He has two options, both of which enable him to do what he wants.1] Reject the inheritance, leave the farm, get a life.? 2] Accept the inheritance, sell the farm, take the money and run.What theRead more

    >>his freedom is threatened when he is pronounced the next heir to the farm.’

    How is it threatened?? He has two options, both of which enable him to do what he wants.

    1] Reject the inheritance, leave the farm, get a life.?
    2] Accept the inheritance, sell the farm, take the money and run.

    What the various iterations of this logline fail to inform me is what ties him down to the farm?? What’s?his real problem?? What??is the psychological (or otherwise) obstacle that keeps him yoked to the plow?

    For whatever reason, he’s apparently not “bold” enough to defy his family’s?dreams for him?and fulfill his own.

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  3. Posted: April 6, 2016In: Thriller

    When his mentor, a terrorist in disguise set’s him up with a bomb in a train terror attack, a Norwegian dropout, must evacuate the potential victims which will be killed in his name before the bomb kills them all.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on April 7, 2016 at 1:33 am

    As CraigDGriffiths said.And then there's the time lapse factor.? A train can be stopped and evacuated in minutes.? So what happens to flesh out the story rest of ?90 or so minutes of screen time?? I just don't see enough dramatic meat on the bones of the central concept--evacuating the train --?as pRead more

    As CraigDGriffiths said.

    And then there’s the time lapse factor.? A train can be stopped and evacuated in minutes.? So what happens to flesh out the story rest of ?90 or so minutes of screen time?? I just don’t see enough dramatic meat on the bones of the central concept–evacuating the train –?as presented in the logline.? The meat of the story, so far as I can tell, is the manipulation and deceit leading up to the planting of the bomb.

    What is the story really about?? How an impressionable, love-besotted young man is manipulated and deceived?? Or how he must save himself — and others–?after he is duped and used?

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