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In this musical, the world’s of two very different Sixth Form students collide, and together they face the dangers of London’s knife culture, and vicious school bullies in today’s society. Will the love they share save them from their enemies, and ultimately from themselves?
What's the inciting incident?that triggers?the? dangers they face?And"face the dangers of London?s knife culture," is vague, needs fleshing out.? As a result of? what specific dangers they face, what becomes their specific objective goal?? What do they want to accomplish?? What MUST they do?And (oncRead more
What’s the inciting incident?that triggers?the? dangers they face?
And”face the dangers of London?s knife culture,” is vague, needs fleshing out.? As a result of? what specific dangers they face, what becomes their specific objective goal?? What do they want to accomplish?? What MUST they do?
And (once again), loglines need not/should not end with a question.? The question should be implied in the declarative statements of the objective goal and the antagonist and/or obstacle.
See lessThe hunt for a spy takes a twist when an innocent bystander in a public park is mistaken for a government agent. (short film)
Agree with FFF.? If it's an experimental film that defies the usual conventions, then the usual conventions for a logline probably won't apply.? Having the designated protagonist off screen until the last scene?indicates to me that you are trying?a unconventional approach.? Okay,? and if it works, iRead more
Agree with FFF.? If it’s an experimental film that defies the usual conventions, then the usual conventions for a logline probably won’t apply.? Having the designated protagonist off screen until the last scene?indicates to me that you are trying?a unconventional approach.? Okay,? and if it works, it works.? But as I am a (hopelessly) conventional guy,? I’m ill-equipped to suggest?any tweaks to the logline.
Best wishes with your project.
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Well, how about:Tortured by??unremitting ?nightmares?of ?a stranger fleeing otherworldly creatures, a young girl?is driven to find?and rescue the stranger. (21 words)In this version, the identify of the stranger -- that's he's her father -- would be the Big Reveal.fwiw
Well, how about:
Tortured by??unremitting ?nightmares?of ?a stranger fleeing otherworldly creatures, a young girl?is driven to find?and rescue the stranger.
(21 words)
In this version, the identify of the stranger — that’s he’s her father — would be the Big Reveal.
fwiw
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