1. Posted: January 8, 2020In:

    A pair of young lovers from rival lobster fishing gangs in Maine must unite their communities in order to defend their territories against the encroaching Canadian lobster mafia.

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity

    Interesting subject matter.? And different -- which is what movie producers are always looking for.I am aware that the lobster men (and women) organize in rival families.? But for the purpose of the logline and plot,? the "Romeo & Juliet" element? is only relevant if? the relationship entails moRead more

    Interesting subject matter.? And different — which is what movie producers are always looking for.

    I am aware that the lobster men (and women) organize in rival families.? But for the purpose of the logline and plot,? the “Romeo & Juliet” element? is only relevant if? the relationship entails mortal jeopardy to the main characters. Like the star-crossed affair did in Shakespeare’s play because of the feuding families in Verona.??? What’s the worse? thing that could happen to the lovers when? — not if — their love affair becomes public knowledge?

    In any event, the plot is not about love — it’s about lobsters.? That’s the “A” story.? The love relationship is the “B” story.? Loglines are about the “A” story, not the “B” story. ? So I suggest that the logline should focus on the lobster war.? A question I have is that since the American lobster folk are keenly aware of the existential threat the Canadian mafia poses, what stands in the way of their organizing to save their jobs and their way of life?? What must they do not just? to”defend their territories” but to win the war?

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  2. Posted: January 8, 2020In:

    After an immodest teenager gets jilted at the school dance by her boyfriend and then loses the homecoming competition, she stumbles upon family secrets of lies and an unsolved murder mystery that turns her life upside down.

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity

    As Beck noted.?? How does being? jilted, etc. lead to the discovery of family secrets?? What is the real inciting incident that leads to the discovery?? If there is no cause-and-effect relationship between the two disappointments in high school, then those events are irrelevant to the logline.>Read more

    As Beck noted.?? How does being? jilted, etc. lead to the discovery of family secrets?? What is the real inciting incident that leads to the discovery?? If there is no cause-and-effect relationship between the two disappointments in high school, then those events are irrelevant to the logline.

    >>>turns her life upside down.

    Vague and it frames her as, once again, the victim of circumstances.? The job of the protagonist is to be proactive.? In this situation, what becomes her objective goal as a result of the discovery?? What MUST she do about the discovery?

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  3. Posted: January 8, 2020In:

    After the die-hard romantic paramour of a married woman is asked to help kill her abusive stepfather, he plans the perfect murder but when he discovers she is using him as a pawn, heartbroken, he plots his revenge.

    dpg Singularity

    Does he only plan the perfect murder -- but not execute it?? Or...? >>>She is using him as a pawn A pawn to accomplish what?? What is her motivation, what does she olan to get out of using him? And why not abusive husband instead of abusive stepfather? And what is his m.o. to get revenge?Read more

    Does he only plan the perfect murder — but not execute it?? Or…?

    >>>She is using him as a pawn

    A pawn to accomplish what?? What is her motivation, what does she olan to get out of using him?

    And why not abusive husband instead of abusive stepfather?

    And what is his m.o. to get revenge?

     

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