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  1. Posted: January 31, 2016In: Drama

    In a small town in Iowa, a young aspiring photographer wants to break out and tries to enter his work into a famous gallery, but his oppressive and legalistic grandfather tries to lure him into the farming business with it?s success and luxury.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on January 31, 2016 at 8:58 am

    As Richiev said.? The notion of farming in Iowa?(or practically anywhere else) being a "luxurious" occupation is? not realistic.The storyline misses the?realistic, obvious ?and compelling reason his grandfather would try to keep him down on the farm:? for the sake of the family legacy.???His grandfaRead more

    As Richiev said.? The notion of farming in Iowa?(or practically anywhere else) being a “luxurious” occupation is? not realistic.

    The storyline misses the?realistic, obvious ?and compelling reason his grandfather would try to keep him down on the farm:? for the sake of the family legacy.???His grandfather is too old and infirm to run the farm, his father has already died; he’s the only male heir? left to keep the farm going, keep it in the family.

    Consequently, the young man is torn between his dream and duty.

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  2. Posted: January 29, 2016In: Crime

    Trapped in an all-night bank siege, a by-the-book bank teller must outwit both cops and robbers to escape with 100k from the bank?s vault to pay-off his brothers gambling debt.

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on January 30, 2016 at 2:30 pm

    The?version that spooled through my mind is that he actually pulls off the 100K heist in the confusion of the siege -- and then complications and hilarity ensue. It's definitely a premise that can play out in several different ways.? Best of luck with whichever? one you settle on.

    The?version that spooled through my mind is that he actually pulls off the 100K heist in the confusion of the siege — and then complications and hilarity ensue.

    It’s definitely a premise that can play out in several different ways.? Best of luck with whichever? one you settle on.

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  3. Posted: January 23, 2016In: SciFi

    A faithless young girl is recruited into a war of witches and must believe in herself and magic enough to use a legendary wand to end the conflict.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on January 30, 2016 at 9:40 am

    Thanks for the clarification.? However, I did not detect one necessary plot element in your synopsis: a singular antagonist.The magic wand seems to constitute the "McGuffin", which per Hitchcock, is the object in a film story?everyone covet, everyone wants to get their hands on.?? If that is so, theRead more

    Thanks for the clarification.? However, I did not detect one necessary plot element in your synopsis: a singular antagonist.

    The magic wand seems to constitute the “McGuffin”, which per Hitchcock, is the object in a film story?everyone covet, everyone wants to get their hands on.?? If that is so, then? the story would benefit from?the ?young girl should?having a??rival, an opponent??who covets the wand?to use for?evil rather than good.???Say a wicked crone.? Such as:

    A timid young girl recruited to end a war of witches must find and master a legendary wand for good before it falls into the clutches of a wicked crone intent on using it for evil.

    (36 words)

    The?existence of ?a rival?amps up ?dramatic tension because:? 1]?it raises the stakes: the crone will use it to make things worse, not better.? 2]It plants an implied ticking clock: the young girl must acquire the wand??before the crone does.

    Yeah, I know.? Not a word about her learning to trust herself, trust the magic of the wand, yada-yada.? Why?? Because?that’s the standard issue inner story, the boilerplate ?subjective need, entailed in the classic paradigm of the Hero’s Journey.? But a logline is about the outer story, the quest for the objective goal and who opposes the protagonist.

    fwiw.

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