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  1. Posted: January 25, 2016In: Comedy

    A down-on-his-luck , part time bus driver who dreams of being a NASCAR driver helps police capture a criminal by out running him while driving a special education bus. The ariel footage goes viral and he becomes an overnight sensation. The sudden fame along with having to choose between his dream and being a good person shows him that there is more to being a champion than winning.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on January 26, 2016 at 12:27 am

    In terms of what is required for a logline, the first 43 words, everything from? "A down-on-his-luck" to? "...becomes an overnight sensation", constitutes the setup and inciting incident which would?occur in the 1st Act.After that should come ?a statement of the protagonist's ?objective goal, the puRead more

    In terms of what is required for a logline, the first 43 words, everything from? “A down-on-his-luck” to? “…becomes an overnight sensation”, constitutes the setup and inciting incident which would?occur in the 1st Act.

    After that should come ?a statement of the protagonist’s ?objective goal, the pursuit of which, constitutes the action of the second Act.

    Instead, this logline leaps over the 2nd Act completely to?the 3rd Act moment when he must finally “choose between his dream, etc.”? We are left clueless as to what the action line is for the?bulk of the 2nd Act, the action the protagonist takes that leads? to ?the Act 3 crisis and dilemma ?that forces the character to [finally]?choose.

    As a result of becoming an “overnight sensation”?(Act 1), what objective goal does the protagonist pursue?( Act 2) that leads to the? crisis that forces him to make a choice (Act 3)?

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  2. Posted: January 25, 2016In: Drama

    A man had a great live but empty live. Suddenly he felt sick. Knowing its incurable he decide to go out on the secluded beach somewhere in Indonesia. On his way to the beach he met a girl that will change the way his perceive life. At last he was cure due to his heart begin to change and he himself becoming a better man. Thanks to the girl !

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on January 25, 2016 at 5:19 am

    A dying man is cured?by ?the love of? a good woman.

    A dying man is cured?by ?the love of? a good woman.

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  3. Posted: January 24, 2016In: Comedy

    After a clumsy socialist teacher loses again against his smart conservative brother in the elections, he leaves regional politics frustrated only to learn from his students that he has to become more ruthless to win the next time.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on January 25, 2016 at 5:12 am

    It seems to me that? "clumsy" versus?"become more ruthless" is an incongruent match up.??A more congruent value?contrast would be??"become more ruthless"?versus? "idealistic".? Further, what?would be?galling is not only that he's losing to a conservative brother, but one who gloats about it; ?iow:?Read more

    It seems to me that? “clumsy” versus?”become more ruthless” is an incongruent match up.??A more congruent value?contrast would be??”become more ruthless”?versus? “idealistic”.? Further, what?would be?galling is not only that he’s losing to a conservative brother, but one who gloats about it; ?iow:? amp up the sibling rivalry.

    As in:

    After repeated losing?elections to his arrogant conservative brother, an idealistic?socialist school teacher abandons his?ethical principles ?to win….

    Well,? win what?? What is the office at stake?? I think that needs to be specified.

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