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  1. Posted: January 20, 2016In: Comedy

    When an underachieving gravedigger’s cemetery is taken over by his ex-girlfriend’s Mafioso father, he must rise to the occasion to regain control or end up losing more than just his job.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on January 20, 2016 at 2:01 pm

    Just because he's a gravedigger doesn't mean he's the owner, in control of the cemetery.? Most gravediggers are just employees. And in this version, the chain of ?cause-and-effect between the ex-girlfriend and the jeopardy to the you man's life has been broken.? Why does being an ex-boyfriend of a gRead more

    Just because he’s a gravedigger doesn’t mean he’s the owner, in control of the cemetery.? Most gravediggers are just employees.

    And in this version, the chain of ?cause-and-effect between the ex-girlfriend and the jeopardy to the you man’s life has been broken.? Why does being an ex-boyfriend of a girl who father is a mob man put the young man’s life in danger?

    The stakes are clear — his life is at stake — but “regain control” is vague as an objective goal?? What is his?objective goal — what must he specifically do ?to save his life?

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  2. Posted: January 20, 2016In: Drama

    A boy fights for survival during the 872 day siege of Leningrad.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on January 20, 2016 at 1:51 pm

    This? seems to be a "war is hell' story?as seen through the pov of a young boy.? It?is based upon a real event, no doubt, about that, but is it based upon a real person?? As was "Enemy at the Gates" (2001)?based upon the siege of Stalingrad AND specifically on the heroism of a real person, a?RussianRead more

    This? seems to be a “war is hell’ story?as seen through the pov of a young boy.? It?is based upon a real event, no doubt, about that, but is it based upon a real person?? As was “Enemy at the Gates” (2001)?based upon the siege of Stalingrad AND specifically on the heroism of a real person, a?Russian sniper by the name of?Vassili Zaitsev?

    As was the movie?”Empire of the Sun” (1987), based upon?a real?person, the?experience of? J.G.?Ballard??as a??young English boy struggling to survive the Japanese occupation of China?during World War II?

    As was the movie “Europa, Europa” (1990), based upon a real person,? Solomon Perel, a Jewish teenager who survived by?passing himself off as an Aryan.

    The character and his predicament needs to be more specific.? And it would?strengthen the concept for it ?to be based upon real people. Truth is stranger– and more interesting –than fiction and nowhere is that more so than? stories of heroism and survival in times of war.

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  3. Posted: January 16, 2016In: Comedy

    A first date goes from zero to one hundred with an evening in a theme park. Sydney becomes the backdrop as the couple explore the city, doing and talking about everything you shouldn?t on a first date.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on January 17, 2016 at 1:53 am

    Is this a logline for a short, a full-length feature film? In terms of?a plot, the story line goes from zero to.... zero.? There's no indication of an inciting incident, no sense of?conflict, no hint of a dramatic question, no stakes.

    Is this a logline for a short, a full-length feature film?

    In terms of?a plot, the story line goes from zero to…. zero.? There’s no indication of an inciting incident, no sense of?conflict, no hint of a dramatic question, no stakes.

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