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  1. Posted: November 24, 2015In: Thriller

    After a tech genius jokingly replies to a scam e-mail, she must go on the run from a murderous prince who wants his twenty million dollars back.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on November 25, 2015 at 7:33 am

    I'm guessing -- and I shouldn't have to, the logline should make it clear -- that the tech genius is being pursued either because she stole the money or because she is suspected of stealing the money.? Which is it?If she stole the money, then why would I want to root for her?And if she is suspectedRead more

    I’m guessing — and I shouldn’t have to, the logline should make it clear — that the tech genius is being pursued either because she stole the money or because she is suspected of stealing the money.? Which is it?

    If she stole the money, then why would I want to root for her?

    And if she is suspected of stealing the money “going on the run” is reactive, weak, and ineffectual as an objective goal.? She might have to initially bolt for her life, but her objective goal would have to be to prove her innocence. Ergo, wouldn’t her objective goal, her only hope of surviving, be? to find the real thief?

    (Such as the plot for “The Fugitive”.? Dr. Kimble’s objective goal is not to run from the FBI — although he must initially do that.? His objective goal is to go? back to Chicago, find out and prove to the satisfaction of the FBI who really killed his wife because it’s the only way he can get the FBI, in the person of agent Gerard. off his case.)

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  2. Posted: November 24, 2015In: Drama

    Starbuck is full of himself according to his dead father, mother and especially sister. He runs into walls all the time, but deep down he just wants to be a good man. That begins to show when he meets Paris, a young lady, working on her bucket list.

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on November 25, 2015 at 7:19 am

    The usual m.o. in a logline is to NOT name the protagonist.? What matters in a logline is a character's role in the plot -- what they do -- not what their name is. I certainly see no reason why this logline merits being an exception to that rule.Instead of specifying names of characters, what the loRead more

    The usual m.o. in a logline is to NOT name the protagonist.? What matters in a logline is a character’s role in the plot — what they do — not what their name is. I certainly see no reason why this logline merits being an exception to that rule.

    Instead of specifying names of characters, what the logline needs? to do is specify a plot.? It needs to answer the basic questions: What is the protagonist’s objective goal?? Who/what opposes him in his struggle to attain that objective goal?? What are the stakes — what does he stand to win if he attains his objective goal, lose if he fails?

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  3. Posted: November 20, 2015In: Thriller

    In the dawn of e-banking in Nigeria, a troubled and technophobic bank auditor struggles to keep her job but must outwit a disgruntled colleague and onetime master thief bent on sinking the bank.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on November 25, 2015 at 7:08 am

    It seems to me that a fundamental weakness of all 3 versions of the heist story is? this reel story has to compete against real stories, true events, e-thefts of account information and money.? And the truth is stranger than fiction.? What I read in the newspaper is stranger and more dramatically inRead more

    It seems to me that a fundamental weakness of all 3 versions of the heist story is? this reel story has to compete against real stories, true events, e-thefts of account information and money.? And the truth is stranger than fiction.? What I read in the newspaper is stranger and more dramatically interesting than anything I can see in these loglines.

    fwiw

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