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  1. Posted: September 28, 2015In: Drama

    Tortured by past mistakes and betrayals, an ex-con sets out to avenge the death of his best friend, but struggles to complete his mission when he discovers a boy that may be his son.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on September 29, 2015 at 10:29 pm

    As written, the logline presents 2 plots:? avenge a death,? discover whether the kid is his son.But a plot should be singular in issue, one main line of action.? Which in this case would seem to be vengeance.? In which case, the kid is a complication germane to the main action line? -- IF the outcomRead more

    As written, the logline presents 2 plots:? avenge a death,? discover whether the kid is his son.

    But a plot should be singular in issue, one main line of action.? Which in this case would seem to be vengeance.? In which case, the kid is a complication germane to the main action line? — IF the outcome of the quest for revenge is contingent on his resolving the identity of? the boy.

    So, if he fails to figure out whether the kid is his son, or if he figures out the kid is not his son, does this mean he will fail to achieve his primary objective goal of getting revenge?? If the answer is “no” then the kid story line is a distraction from, not a determinant of the outcome of the main story line.? Ideally, there should be a causal — not a casual — relationship between the matter of the kid and the quest for revenge.?

    He must satisfactorily resolve the “B” story about the boy in order to get revenge in the “A” story.? And it’s not clear that is the case.

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  2. Posted: September 29, 2015In: Drama

    Down on his luck and fed up with his life in general, a black male is stopped by police in search of a suspect that fits his description.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on September 29, 2015 at 10:17 pm

    As noted by others, the logline sets up an inciting incident for a plot, but it doesn't tell us what the plot is.? That is, what must he do, what becomes his objective goal as a result of being pulled over.

    As noted by others, the logline sets up an inciting incident for a plot, but it doesn’t tell us what the plot is.? That is, what must he do, what becomes his objective goal as a result of being pulled over.

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  3. Posted: September 15, 2015In: Public

    A charming hired hand falls for the same idealistic young woman as his close friend, an emerging revolutionary after they are driven to the rural south by growing violence and corruption in the city. (Besides log line help, would like to know if you would watch this movie?)

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on September 29, 2015 at 1:29 pm

    Well, since you asked, the story is too general to elicit my interest.? There is no sense of a particular historical period in which the story takes place.? Nothing in particular that makes this story stand out from all the other love stories about one character who is charming and another who is idRead more

    Well, since you asked, the story is too general to elicit my interest.? There is no sense of a particular historical period in which the story takes place.? Nothing in particular that makes this story stand out from all the other love stories about one character who is charming and another who is idealistic.

    >>>growing violence and corruption in the city.

    When?? Where?? That could apply to any number of cities, in the past — and present.

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