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  1. Posted: September 28, 2015In: Crime

    In the midst of his hired kill, a Hitman is visited by his drug abused Uncle and learns the essence of life through his six-year-old daughter.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on September 29, 2015 at 8:25 am

    A logline should not be about "life lessons learned" -- that's a subjective goal arising from an internal need.? A logline should focus on the external goal, what the main character needs to accomplish as a result of the inciting incident.So, as a result of being visited by his uncle -- the incitingRead more

    A logline should not be about “life lessons learned” — that’s a subjective goal arising from an internal need.? A logline should focus on the external goal, what the main character needs to accomplish as a result of the inciting incident.

    So, as a result of being visited by his uncle — the inciting incident — what must the hitman do?? What become his objective goal? Who opposes him? What are the urgent stakes?

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  2. Posted: September 16, 2015In: SciFi

    With Earth on the brink of destruction, a despairing shuttle pilot leads a team to explore parallel worlds for a new home, but each new Earth they find has already met a cataclysmic fate within a year of own.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on September 17, 2015 at 4:17 am

    Knightrider: I like the concept of simulations of earth history. Have you considered using ye' ol' sci-fi gimmick of parallel space-time dimensions? The simulations are being run in parallel space-time dimensions. In fact, the whole history of the earth as we know about it is one of the simulationsRead more

    Knightrider:

    I like the concept of simulations of earth history.

    Have you considered using ye’ ol’ sci-fi gimmick of parallel space-time dimensions? The simulations are being run in parallel space-time dimensions. In fact, the whole history of the earth as we know about it is one of the simulations being run in parallel space-time, one of numerous galactic virtual machines, all part of a grand experiment in evolution from the same base point event, the same zero-moment when life commenced.

    The MC’s goal would amount to a desperate quest for a simulation where the experiment leads to a hopeful outcome for life on earth in general, homo sapiens specifically. The ticking clock, of course, is that our simulation is running out of time; we’re on the verge of hurling ourselves — and all life in our simulation — off the cliff into extinction.

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  3. Posted: September 15, 2015In: Public

    A charming hired hand falls for the same idealistic young woman as his close friend, an emerging revolutionary after they are driven to the rural south by growing violence and corruption in the city. (Besides log line help, would like to know if you would watch this movie?)

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on September 15, 2015 at 9:47 pm

    As FFF said. The logline seems to be more about the "B" story -- the love story -- and rather vague on what constitutes the "A" story. A logline should focus on the "A" story. That is, it should 1] identify a main character, 2] describe that character's specific objective goal, 3] who/what opposes tRead more

    As FFF said.

    The logline seems to be more about the “B” story — the love story — and rather vague on what constitutes the “A” story. A logline should focus on the “A” story. That is, it should 1] identify a main character, 2] describe that character’s specific objective goal, 3] who/what opposes the main character and 4] what’s at stake.

    The objective goal should be framed as something the main character is proactively seeking to accomplish. As it is “They are driven…” seems passive and reactive — circumstances are in the drivers seat of the plot rather than the main characters.

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