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A newly telepathic psychiatrist takes matters into his own hands when he detects his patient?s increasingly abusive marriage.
Why does it take some supernatural hocus-pocus for the shrink to get involved? Simple human empathy isn't enough? And what does "take matters into his own hands" mean? It's general, vague. The logline should be specific: what does he decide to do about the abuse?
Why does it take some supernatural hocus-pocus for the shrink to get involved? Simple human empathy isn’t enough?
And what does “take matters into his own hands” mean? It’s general, vague. The logline should be specific: what does he decide to do about the abuse?
See lessA secretive, lonely hitman is asked to perform one last hit when he decides to quit after falling in love with a successful attorney. When the target turns out to be his intended, he must bring all of his skills to bear against everything the mob can throw at him.
After falling in love with a brilliant attorney, a hit man vows to retire but the mob boss won't let him until he performs one more job: murder the attorney. Now he must fight to save her life -- and his. (40 words). Although the obvious implication is that his own life is in jeopardy so maybe "-- aRead more
After falling in love with a brilliant attorney, a hit man vows to retire but the mob boss won’t let him until he performs one more job: murder the attorney. Now he must fight to save her life — and his. (40 words).
Although the obvious implication is that his own life is in jeopardy so maybe “– and his” is superfluous and can be dropped which reduces the word count to 38.
See lessUnearthly follows the supernatural adventures of two young boys forced to set aside their differences and embark on a road trip in search of the witch that hexed them with a deadly curse.
>> road trip in search of the witch that hexed them with a deadly curse. And then what? What is their goal after they find her? And if she's potent enough to curse them, what mojo have they got to make her undo the curse? Which is to say: what is their defining characteristic that makes them cRead more
>> road trip in search of the witch that hexed them with a deadly curse.
And then what? What is their goal after they find her? And if she’s potent enough to curse them, what mojo have they got to make her undo the curse? Which is to say: what is their defining characteristic that makes them candidates to be heroes instead of mere victims, characters who are so interesting millions of people will want to follow them episode after episode?
See less